I love this....

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’”

-C. S. Lewis

Communist USA

I may as well be in a bread line in Communist Russia. Food prices are SOARING! I just went to do my bi-monthly grocery shopping. HOLY COW!! I didnt even get half the things on my list just for the sheer fact that, well...its too dang expensive. (so is fuel by the way...)

Although on a good note, it does force me to weigh the differences between wants and needs. But still. When a small box of tea that cost $1.97 a month or two before now costs $3.89.... there is something wrong with that. Gripe gripe gripe.

...and it's all rocket science.

Is it really that hard to find a cute, modest one-piece bathing suit, that is not size XXXX for under $40??? Maybe I'm just being cheap. But $40? Seriously?? All the ones that are quite immodest are under $40... but all the modest, coverage-offering one are over that price and are for people who usually dont want to be seen in a bathing suit anyways. Stupid world. Im not a huge fan of tankinis, as the water tends to balloon your top up and then gets twisted around you...but I may be willing to relent and perhaps sew both peices together. Any ideas? Anybody?

World class sluff-off

Man... lazy has been the word of the year so far. Yes, I did try to make some resolutions, a few which I actually kept. But I've been sluffing through since January not on my bills, nor my housekeeping, nor my job. I've been sluffing off on myself. Yes I shower, yes I am very hygenic-concious. However I cant get my lazy bum out of bed at a time in the morning that gives me some slack to actually do my hair, or apply makeup in a way that doesnt look hurried. If I shower at night, that means that my thin-fine hair is EVERYWHERE in the morning so the best I can do is a pony tail... I dont have time to shower again that morning to tame it, which means that I dont have the time to do anything except swipe on some mascara in the car and go. I've gotten better about remembering to put my clothes out the night before so I dont go to work looking like I just got out of bed, but so far it has been constituting about 1-2 days a week. Sooo.... 3-4 days out of the week I am a disheveled mess. Not to mention...IM STILL TIRED. Hmmm...

So for 1 month, all of May, I am going to make a resolution or two. Or three.. Well.. I ended up with 7.

• I WILL get out of bed when my alarm says


• I WILL set my alarm for 20 minutes before I have been getting up


• I WILL get a shower in the morning no matter if I took one the night before


• I WILL put my clothes together the night before


• I WILL have my purse, keys, water bottle, etc... in one spot ready to grab in the morning


• I WILL have gas in my car the night before so I dont have to waste 10 minutes getting to the gas station before jumping on the freeway (yes, this is a common cause of my being late)


• I WILL DO THIS FOR DAY 1-31 OF MAY

Lord help me.

The Rebelution

YAY to the guys that started The Rebelution blog. What an uplifting find to see that young people are taking the reins on issues like modesty, chastity, and their main theme: A TEENAGE REBELLION AGAINST LOW EXPECTATIONS. (they've even got a book!! see here)

Finally! Some one is speaking out to the youth and even young adults about the low expectations this world has for them and how to rise above it and become moral, choice people within the gospel. And the great part about it is... the youth are listening!!!!!

Check out the site. Its a great one if you have pre-teens or teens, or even if you are a young adult! Im sure older adults can glean something from it too. Kudos to Alex & Brett Harris for starting something wonderful!!!

What I've learned about grace... (this is a bit long)

So I'm on the last day of my secular fast, I originally thought I would conclude Wednesday, but turns out that I can't count to 7. So, on this ending day (the real day 7), I am going to post (fittingly, I think) what I have learned of the grace of God through secular fasting and turning more of my attention to Him and away from the world.

First note: God is good. I never really, truly understood it until lately. God is and really has been good to us. He has blessed our lives with large things as well as small things, and then again with microscopically tiny things. It is those teeny, tiny things, the things that are there that we look over and don't recognize as daily blessings. I see His goodness and grace in the way my husband looks at me after a kiss. I feel it in the peace he gives me when I get stressed. I saw it in the little 6 year old neighbor boy who came to our yard looking for his blankie in the middle of the night. All things that just seem to be a daily occurrence or even just out of the blue that we just brush off either so mundane or so small they are overlooked, are each in turn a teeny bit of God. He is good in that He has shown Himself to me in the smallest of things.

Second note: It was grace that saved me. I don't pretend to be a perfect person, indeed before October of 2007, I was a wretch. (And a wreck...) It was not until I fully accepted God as my Heavenly Father and Jesus as my savior, that I was saved from the claws of sin. (Again, still not saying I'm perfect) By sending His son to die for mankind, I was fully able to repent and lament my sorrows and know that after I did that, He would forgive me... and I could have life through His grace and goodness. Without the atonement of Christ and the grace of our dear God, I would not have been able to be lifted up enough to glorify or serve Him. Nor would I have the opportunity to be given eternal life through His words. The grace of God fell upon me that day in October, He showed Himself to me and just what He would have me do. I am ever so thankful that by His saving grace, His divine plan that I have a father and a savior who care enough about my soul that He would take the time to show me His most holy righteousness.

Third note: He is everywhere, in everything.. truly, He lives. God made the world and I think that people forget about it. I did. We take everything this planet has to offer without even thinking about the beauty of it. Yes, God gave it to us to use, but do we ever recognize just how much of Himself He poured into its creation? Every single thing, including mosquitos (I'm still of the opinion they are a waste of fiber) everything has a purpose and is on this earth to do their duty to God's purpose. How amazing it is to think that God thought to put the leaves on the trees in that specific color green, or that the yearling steer in our pasture is just the exact color and height of how God created it. Or even our own body, who's organs "talk" to one another without us even having to constantly think that our heart is beating, or that our lungs are inhaling properly. God's plan is in everything and is constantly being overlooked. Now I'm not going completely environmentalist on you here. I believe that the Earth was created for humans to utilize, and God even states he put the animals and plants here to sustain us here for the time we are on this planet. I'm just saying, God's beauty is everywhere, in everything. Truly, through His creation, He lives.

I have been at peace for the past week, and it has been a nice change. Am I going to keep my changes up? Probably most of them. I don't miss TV or movies as we don't have a TV. I know I will definitely be more selective in what I do watch though if I ever get a TV. I know I will be more selective in what I subject myself to listen to, or to read, or to look up on the Internet. I've decided all things in moderation and to be selective in cleanliness and morality and the more they glorify God and His teachings, the better. The farther off that topic they are, then I will try to stay away from. I have found more free time to be outside and to get things done that need to be done rather than to be lazy and decide that I am going to surf the Internet instead. I feel changed, my priorities have definitely changed. There is too much of Gods great, glorious words and world to waste on man-made ideas and ideals. I'm still not perfect, nor will I ever really be... but I feel this is a step in the right direction, and I have become a better person because of it. I think I may make this a monthly deal.

Through Him also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand. And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God. Romans 5: 2

Men primp in cars too, ya know...

I never noticed until this past week how many people, men and women, primp and check themselves out in their rearview mirrors at the stoplights on the way into work. It's interesting to think that we are all different people and yet quite alike in our mannerisms and ways we think.

1 hour with God

The drive to work takes about 30 minutes. So does the drive home. That is one hour I get to sit by myself. I listened to a devotional this morning on the way in about the joy of solitude. It asked, when do you get your alone time with God? Do you set aside time to pray and to just forget about everything for a little bit?

So I got to thinking... well, I wrench myself out of bed, peel my eyelids back to the point where I can kind of see, grumble on the drive to work, work, then grumble through the drive home, then tend to my husband, make dinner if he hasnt already, teach dance if its Thursday, laundry if its Sunday, clean something, read scriptures with my husband, pray and go to bed. Hmm... theres not alot of alone time there, and quite frankly, I do love my life and the time that I am able to spend being busy. And really, I'm not that busy in comparison to others. But I was still lacking that time to set myself apart from the day and talk with Him. I reveiwed my schedule again and figured, when I drive to work and back, what am I doing to fill that time? During the fast, I have just been quiet and enjoyed the silence. But then I heard that devotional this morning, and it told of a busy city engineer who had an hour ride into work every morning and that somedays he was so busy he didn't even get a lunch break. He used his commute time, when he was the only one in the car stuck in traffic, as his "alone" time with God.

I have a half an hour each way every day. I am able to use this to either listen to devotionals, or ponder the thoughts of Him, or to pray, or to sing to His glory. My time shouldn't be wasted by listening to the "drive at 5" top 10 songs of the week... or by wondering what in the world the driver in front of me is doing. So from today on, I will make the effort to use my drive time wisely.

Proverbs 3:6 - in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

Clarification

Ok... Ive had some questions as to what a fast is... here ya go:

Fasting = the abstaining or detoxing from something or things for a set amount of time, usually used for spiritual or religious purposes, although in some circumstances is very beneficial to the physical body as a detox.

Secular Fasting = abstaining from secular (worldly) things. For instance, in my current secular fast, I am abstaining from TV, Internet aside from the blog, any printed materials that do not glorify God (ie:newspaper, magazines, ideals of the world), radio & music, or electronic games.

What I call "normal" fasting = abstaining from food or drink for a 24-hour period, detoxes the body, causes you to be humble in prayer and hopefully in all things. Prayer ususally acommpanies any kind of fast, and therefore you can use a fast to pray for the healing of others as well as yourself.

Also, read here for a detailed explination http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasting. It gives some insight to fasting throughout different religions and such.

Day 3

It seems like I've been doing this for such a long time now! And yet it has only been 3 days. I have decided that I need to do another day of normal fasting on top of my secular fast... I cant find the words to explain it right now, but even just a normal fast without the secular one is very humbling and enlightening. I am more at peace one the third day of a fast than I have been in about 6 months. It's quiet. I feel Gods presence moreso than before because now that I cut all the clutter and the noise out, I can hear Him. He really does provide for us and His word is the way.

I am finding out that when you take out all the media and the worries of the world and all the things that have a negative impact... like the news.. every hear anything uplifting? Ive found when you take all that out, the beauty of the Earth that God made becomes apparent to you again, as if you are seeing it for the first time again through they eyes of your 6 year old self. It almost feels like I am seeing everything for the first time, just in a new light.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. - Psalm 100

Phillipians 4:11-13 (harder than it sounds)

1. Have to find out if we are even qualified for a $48K loan.

2. Have to find a house that we like for that price

3. Have to find 2 jobs there that will pay the same or better as down here

4. Have to try to buy an in-bed camper for the drive up

5. Have to find the money to put the truck on the ferry to get to Alaska

6. Have to find the money to put Earnest Money down if we do get a loan

7. Have to sock away every little bit of change and dinero we get

8. Have to figure out what we are taking and what goes to the thrift store.

No more wasting... no more wanting. I am going to be fasting for the rest of my goll-darn life. I am just thankful that we are going to the Temple before all of this commences completely.

Here is the main point that I will continue to fast on that I may be able to adopt this and through it gain understanding:

"Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

Let us be silent, that we may hear the whisper of God..

It's quiet. I haven't turned on my radio, I don't have a TV, and I have no idea what's going on in the news, although I'm sure nothing has changed since the day before yesterday and this is the only Internet I have been on. I was right. My head is clearing. My prayers are easier to say and I am saying them more often. I'm focusing more accurately. It's nice. I don't have the radio on for the 1 hour drive to and from work, it gives me a chance to just be still. Or to sing. Or to get some thoughts in order. (road rage is also diminishing) I don't feel like I am on a super caffeine high, all jittery and moody. I've been able to cope a little better with my stresses. This is nice. I am looking ahead to next Wednesday, seems so far away and yet only 5 days to go. I cant wait to see the state I have progressed to by then.

So even though I am secular fasting for 7 days, yesterday I was also normal fasting too. I broke that with a trip to The Olive Garden. Had shrimp and stuffed ziti in cheese sauce. Not one of their better dishes, but kudos to me for trying something new. I am doing another normal fast today, and I think this will be the last day I do, although it seems to help my humbleness and my ability to be a bit more spiritual than normal. Perhaps I will add the normal fast in every other day until my secular week is over.

So far, I would recomend a secular fast to everyone. Its difficult in the beginning because we get into such a routine of reading and viewing that we get into a rut. But so far, I am liking getting out of the rut.

Suprises...

It's amazing how your view of someone can change in an instant. One minute the are the most cantankerous catfish ever, but every so often they suprise you and do something so out-of-the-way nice that you begin to see that what they let everyone else see is just a shell as to what's really going on inside. Life never ceases to be unpredicatable. I kinda like it.

Musings of day 1

So it's still day one... and it's hard. Not to keep everything out, just to keep my mind from not shutting up. Throughout some prayers today, I have had a slight revelation that perhaps things are not as bad as I make them out to be. Perhaps God has us held closer than I realized. I am slowly getting some clarity, and as hungry as I am getting, I am starting to feel at peace. Man, give this a week and I'll be in Nirvana! (lol, just kidding) The weights feel like they are being slowly taken from my shoulders and my heart isn't as heavy as it was 5 hours ago as I am realizing that God is so much closer and willing to help if I just pray and ask for His guidance.

I think that a lesson from Job could come into play here. I know a lot of people who praise the Lord in times of great abundance, but when trials come, their faith wanes and they wonder "where is God? Why has He let this happen to me? I thought He loved me?" He does love us, and our trials are His tests of faith to remind us that we should love Him too. And as Job suffered trials, his faith stood strong and God did bless him for his steadfastness. I am learning this.

If anyone is reading this, I would much appriciate your prayers.

And it begins...

Ok Im starting early. The situation has come about that I feel strongly that I need to be fasting from secular things as well as doing a normal fast until further notice. I will continue on the blog as it is my "journal" of sorts, perhaps to keep track of how I do. I have no idea how hard or how easy this will be, but I know that with the Lords help I will be able to get through it and that I will come out stronger in faith that I entered in. I plan on no longer than a week. God-willing I will be at peace.

I like this...

As a woman and a wife trying to help save money, I'm going to try to adopt this depression-era philosophy I found posted at The Sparrows Nest. (which I highly reccomend for you frugal women out there)

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without".

I think I will hang this where I can see it.

Last recipe I promise

I'm still not big on posting recipes, but this is AWESOME! I'm making these tonight.. I will post a photo when I make it.


Chicken Stuffed Croissants by Linda Kerby

3 oz. cream cheese
3 tbsp. butter, melted & divided
2 tbsp. milk
2 cups cooked chicken (cut in small pieces)
1 tbsp. chopped chives
1 tbsp. pimento
1/4 tsp. salt & pepper
1 tube crescent rolls
seasoned bread crumbs
Beat cream cheese and 2 tbsp melted butter untili smooth. Stir in chicken, chives, pimento, milk, salt and pepper. Separate crescent rolls into 4 rectangles. Spoon mixture into each one. Bring up 4 corners and pinch shut. Brush with remaining butter and sprinkle with bread crumbs.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Serves 4

More on Secular Fasting

I think I will try this whole "secular fasting" thing for a few days this next week. Give me time to prepare. Although I will keep the blogging going more as a progress journal whilst I am fasting. Perhaps I will start after church on Sunday. This will be interesting.

Secular Fasting

I think I may try this. It was a fairly large topic at stake conference this past weekend, and seemed to make a world of difference in the life of the family who spoke about it. They went for one whole week without computer, video games, TV, radio, newspaper, anything that involved worldly issues or secular beliefs and media. Granted their whole family did this together and this time around I believe it would just be me, but perhaps it will clear my head a bit and give me some peace.

Springtime Blues

My friend and her husband are in Italy for a week. My parents are away at a wonderful hotel in the mountains. I'm at work trying to tackle my job as well as our late admin. assistants job and trying to figure out how in the world we are going to be able to move to Alaska by October. I know our little 3 day vacation to Salt Lake will be a nice little getaway, but then I have to come back. I wish sometimes I had a million bucks. That would pay off our truck, get us a house wherever we wanted and then we'd bank the rest and not worry about anything.

I know that God is with us and that I must trust in His timing. I know that I should not worry for the future because God holds our lives in His hands, protecting us as long as we keep Him by our sides. Yet I am only human and I am overwhelmed and stressed and a little blue. I dont know which way is up and my brain is so foggy I feel like I cant walk in a straight line let alone think in a straight line. I am having a difficult time remembering things that need to be remembered. I need a break. I need a vacation where I can just sit on a dock and watch the water sparkle in the sunlight, where I can enjoy a cup of early morning tea with my husband and take a sunrise bike ride through God's vast, beautiful wilderness, where I dont have to move if I dont want to, or think if I don't want to or do anything at all for anybody except to serve my husband and God.

Lord help me get through my blues and to continue to remember to pray when I am overwhelmed. Praise be to thee that you hold my hand as I walk. Amen.

Reflections in my tea cup

A cup of lemon tea this morning has reverted me back a few years and I'm fully savoring the memory of slowly sipping a cup of hot lemon tea with a pinch of nutmeg at my kitchen table in my pj's at 7:30 in the morning watching the sun come up over the rooftops, enjoying God's silence and picturesque serenity. Bliss.

One week of food around the world

This is too big to post, so click on the link. I'm not really one to get on my high horse about politics and the world economy, but this linked page made me stop and think a bit about what I can do to either consume less or help others be able to consume more. Also, it is interesting to me to see the differences God made between people from different countries and how different the cuisine varies.

http://www.fixingtheplanet.com/one-weeks-worth-food-around-our-planet

Totally plugging here...

Ok I know its a plug for this stuff, but I'm just thrilled!! In lieu of being a launch pad for my cat, I ended up with some nice scars on my face. AND YAY TO MEDERMA!! Its only been a week and they are already fading. WOOT!! I will get you photos soon. It's great stuff!!

My husband, the genius

Last night my husband brought a point up to me that I've really had to think about. I believe I was telling him that I wanted to grow out my bangs with the rest of my hair because it was getting annoying. His response? "Tomorrow I want you to write down every thought you have about your self and every thing you say about yourself. Good or bad. You are always talking about yourself and I want you to put it down on paper so you can see."

So this has definetly given me reason to pause and think. Do I really say that much about how I dont like my thighs? Or how much do I really focus on my hair whether I like it or not? Am I self centered and narcissistic? Or just insecure? And I figured either way, it is probably annoying the crap out of him.

So I'm going to do it. I'm not going to make an effort to really think positive so my list is all good things, (they are nonetheless about me either way) I just want to see what his little experiment has in store for me. If anything, I got out of his message "BE QUIET. I love you for who you are but its hard when its all about you."

So thank you Zac, for bringing this to my attention with all the love that you have for me. I will do this for you, but I think its more important that I do it for me.

Free speech costs $75 per line...

We have become such a wicked world. The reason I bring this up is from a news cast I heard on the radio this morning. An aid for Barack Obama just released herself from politics after getting a $75 fine for disturbing the peace. Well, ok... what did she do? Apparently there were some kids climbing and swinging in a tree on a property that was not available for that kind of recreation. So she said (exact quote) "The tree is not there for them to be climbing in there like monkeys." What made this woman's comments so problematic?? Well, the 2 children she was reffering to were African-American. Had they been white, there would not have been a problem. Nor would there have been a problem had she been African-American. What if a Chinese person had said it? Now growing up in the good ol' US of A... yes I've been called a monkey when I was little for swinging off things and bouncing around. Not because I looked like a monkey, but my actions were similar. Not to mention I was on the monkey bars... We call our kids "little monkeys" because of the actions they portray when messing around. In my opinion, this lady's words were completly taken out of context because everyone is so hateful toward their fellow man anymore. We are all so eager to watch another human being fall... it's like we are repeating the middle ages when everyone cheered for a hanging. Imagine... us civilized people cheering for the downfall of another. When do we ever try to pick another man up? So far, only people who follow the word of God and the churches are the only ones working in favor of the "light". Although there are still those who go to church and call themselves Christians, and yet are still the first people to jump on the bandwagon of judgment and hate. I suppose I dont blame God for removing Himself from the wicked places of the world.

We are turning into Sodom and Gomorrah and our world will be destroyed again because of it. The only sanctity that we may hope to have is to truly live a Christ-driven, righteous life so that when the world engulfs itself completley in its wickedness and shallowness and deep darkness, we still may hold the light that allows us to see the truth in all things.

"May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out" - quote from LOTR

BEST-EVER GRILLED SALMON!!

Ok, Im not one for posting recipes, but my husbands grilled salmon and potatoes were too excellent to not share!

1 salmon steak lathered in a TON of sweet cream butter and lemon pepper and chives. Place onions in the butter and put face down on the grill. (helps to have a grill plate so things dont fall through)

Slice potatoes in to flat peices and lather them in butter and Tonys Creole seasoning.

Grill.

This is better than any restaurant salmon I have ever had! KUDOS TO ZAC! (sweetie, you can cook anytime!)

I am so thankful...

God has truly blessed our lives. We really can't do anything without Him and His words. What a great thing it is to know that you are constantly being watched over and cared for. He knows your needs and He does provide. I am just so thankful. Praise be to Him!

Is there even one safe spot in this world?

Name one place where you are safe from the outside world and its worldly thoughts and things and pressures. Name one place you can go where there aren't any social pressures to be beautiful, or to be rich or to be the better housewife. Name one place where ideas are not bombarding you with MSN news articles of "why your husband really wants to cheat" and "the stock market is falling off the face of the Earth." Name one place where you can close your eyes and find peace. Can you? Or do your thoughts still resonate those of the world? There is no escape, is there?

Ah but there is. Through the teachings of Christ, and the words of God, we may be able to slowly peel ourselves away from that which is causing our upset.

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food and clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we wear?" For the gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.
- Matthew 6.25-33 (New International Version)

She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard - Proverbs 31

For the longest time I have wanted to start my own business. For an extra hobby, but mostly to help out with finances. I was going to do custom apparel... but the time was just never found. Then I got to the point where I even had a website set up for my online home-made candle business, but we needed to put the money into my husbands lawn business, so that fizzled out. Now I'm thinking about an online perhaps Ebay jewelry store. Jewelry is extremely cheap to make, especially when you buy wholesale beads... And now without a house to keep up constantly I find myself having spare time I never had before. I'll pray on it. Unless you have any other ideas for me?

Happy with what I have...

Moving this time around has been somewhat of a different thing for me that all the other times. This time, I donated 9 (yes count them nine) black yard sacks of mostly clothes and shoes with little miscellaneous things. It was like giving up smoking! I got so attached to having masses of things (I'm not a hoarder, but I did accumulate quite a bit.) But once I got rid of the first few bags, it got easy! I have enough clothes to wear to work, to church, to dance class and to lounge in, and only 5 pairs of shoes. (black heels, brown heels, tennis shoes, slippers and brown sandals) And I'm still getting rid of things! Its such a good feeling to purge old stuff! My closet is actually clean!!!

The reason I started the purge was my dear husband, who when we took the 9 bags to the D.I., gave me the wide eyed look that plainly said you-are-never-going-shopping-again. (actually it was more like sheer bewilderment as to how I accumulated so much crap) Anyways, he started it because we are going to move to Alaska within the next year or so and are driving up there so we are taking as little as possible. So we said goodbye to our furniture, and our first home, and our decorations, and our comfortable 1500 sqft house, and moved in with some friends in their 19 foot camp trailer where I am forced to only have a small amount of things. Its really really nice to not have so much, and that initial feeling of giving up the stuff we had come to love became only luxuries we realized we could get along without until our Alaska house-goal is reached.

Its definitely harder for me I think because I was extremely spoiled growing up. I'm 22 and my mom is still trying to get rid of the entire Barbie isle from WalMart, and all the stuffed animals and all the junk we accumulated through Christmases and yes, EVERY holiday. Christmas morning would take 4 hours just having us 2 kids open presents at a breakneck pace. My husband on the other hand got a box of cereal for Christmas morning. (That's the way to do it moms... disposable gifts. No clutter!)

So I have made up my mind. Aside from going shopping to re-accommodate my wardrobe for garments after the temple here soon, no more going to Ross on my lunch break... no more eBay shopping... I have and will have plenty of clothes and until they completely fall apart, (which some of them are) I will not go shopping. I am happy that God has blessed me with abundance that I will not freeze. Besides, clothes are a material object, yes necessary, but not in excess. I need to focus more on His word and living for Him and not for the next cutest pair of shoes unless the become a my-old-ones-fell-apart-necessity.

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” - Matthew 6:19-21

Trade me sinuses? Please?

I must have pissed off the sinus gods. I had a great head cold 2 weeks ago, was fine and now last friday decided to hit me with a sinus infection on top of that. No rest for the weary right? Ha! Nyquil here I come!! (this little mouse looks how I probably should be, but cant get...comfy.)

Just a minute, let me go rip my eyes out...

Why do people post smut???? Why??? As I was browsing through the blogs on the "next" button... I came across something most unsavory. This is the 3rd site like this (while browsing Blogger) that I have come across and for both yours and my sakes, I will not tell you what they were aside from the fact that they made me blush and want to puke and scream in horror all at the same time. I was supposed to go to lunch here shortly but now my appetite is shot. Shame on you people who put things like that where kids can find them!! If you are browsing Blogger or any other hosts and come across something you wouldn't want your kids to find, or just smut in general, please do your part and report it!!! I wouldn't want my kids seeing it, I'd be completely embarrassed if my parents saw it, and heck, I'm an adult and I don't even want to see it!!!!

In lieu of April Fools Day...

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge.
After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, 'Case dismissed!'
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah ... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own atheists' holiday!'
The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

Gods love for us

I cant seem to get my video setting to work at the moment, so just click on the link. This is a very well put together video worth watching. Really hits home.


http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee. - Psalm 84:11-12

I love being a Christian! Know why?? Because God promises that the closer you are to Him and the more you follow His word and commandments, the more blessed you will be. And God does not break His promises!! I truly can testify of His GREATNESS and His love for us!!

We are able to start business now, praise Him! My husband started his own lawn company, and we needed to get a lawn mower and a trimmer. We found out that we weren't able to finance the deal through the company, but thanks be to God, we were able to pay cash for 70% of it and use an existing credit card for the rest rather than having a new credit card account with a HUGE balance on it. His blessings are everywhere and like this one, it is such a small thing but once realized, it turned into a wonderful situation!! I know it worked out also because we did wait for His timing rather than going gung-ho on the situation and get a mower when we felt we needed one. We have and still are learning that things go soooooo much easier and smoother when we step back and use God's time. I do testify to you that His word is the truth and that blessings do come from heeding it. I testify that prayer and patience according to His will is a necessary part of worship and a wonderful way to become closer to Him. Praise be to Him that lets us live! Amen.

A faithful man shall abound with blessings, but he who makes haste to be rich shall not go unpunished. Proverbs 28: 20

Just call me Cleo - for I am in De-Nile

I've been so overwhelmed latley that Im not sure what to do with myself or even which way is up. Here's the goings on:

1) Were moving to Nampa

2) We are de-junking our current abode

3) We are planning on moving to Sitka, Alaska by this time next year

4) As of last night we are (God willing) trying to move to Alaska by the end of the summer

5) We have to plan for the drive on the Alaska Marine Highway all the way up to Prince Rupert Canada and the ferry over to Sitka when we figure out when we are going to move

6) Have to buy a house from 3000 miles away, but I may have to make a trip up there this summer for paper work???? (There are no such things as cheap rentals up there.)

7) We have to buy a commercial lawn mower for hubbys business

8) Have to tile the bathroom and clean the current house

9) Have to plan it right for getting jobs up in Sitka for whenever we move up there.

10) If we leave this summer, then I cant spend Christmas with everyone...

11) So much more but im getting overwhelmed thinking about it.

As you can see, almost everything is so up in the air and I am just drifting along with the current that I am getting that same feeling as when we planned our wedding. I'd like to just pull an ostrich and call it good. Heelllooo denial!

One of my Favorites

The Walrus & The Carpenter by Lewis Carroll aka Charles Dodgson

The sun was shining on the sea, Shining with all his might:

He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright--

And this was odd, because it was The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily, Because she thought the sun

Had got no business to be there, After the day was done--

"It's very rude of him," she said,"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be, The sands were dry as dry.

You could not see a cloud, because No cloud was in the sky:

No birds were flying overhead--There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand;

They wept like anything to see Such quantities of sand:

"If this were only cleared away,"They said, "it would be grand!"
"If seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year.

Do you suppose," the Walrus said,"That they could get it clear?"

"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!" The Walrus did beseech."

A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, Along the briny beach

:We cannot do with more than four,To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him, But never a word he said:

The eldest Oyster winked his eye, And shook his heavy head--

Meaning to say he did not chooseTo leave the oyster-bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up, All eager for the treat:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat--

And this was odd, because, you know,They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them, And yet another four;

And thick and fast they came at last, And more, and more, and more--

All hopping through the frothy waves,And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock Conveniently low:

And all the little Oysters stoodAnd waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--

And why the sea is boiling hot-- And whether pigs have wings."
"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried, "Before we have our chat;

For some of us are out of breath,And all of us are fat!"

"No hurry!" said the Carpenter. They thanked him much for that.
"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said, "Is what we chiefly need:

Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed--

Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,We can begin to feed."
"But not on us!" the Oysters cried, Turning a little blue.

"After such kindness, that would be A dismal thing to do!"

"The night is fine," the Walrus said."Do you admire the view?
"It was so kind of you to come! And you are very nice!"

The Carpenter said nothing but "Cut us another slice:

I wish you were not quite so deaf--I've had to ask you twice!"
"It seems a shame," the Walrus said, To play them such a trick,

After we've brought them out so far, And made them trot so quick!"

The Carpenter said nothing but"The butter's spread too thick!"
"I weep for you," the Walrus said: "I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-handkerchief, Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter, "You've had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again? 'But answer came there none--

And this was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one.

Ok so painting does suck a little...

(This post is on behalf of my grousing husband...who hates painting with a passion...)

My husband was hired to paint a friends barn-red porch white. Yes, easier said than done. Now I don't mind painting, but it is a loathsome thing to my husband. He spent 10 hours doing 2 coats of primer. I helped out for about 4 hours... it was 11:30pm before he got home. His poor back is so sore. If I could have taken the day off, I would have and helped him. We had the most trouble with all the screws sticking out of the ceiling from where they shingled the roof of it. Tore the roller and the brushes up. (good thing they are cheap!) And then there are tiny little nooks and crannies that need to be white or else you would definitely see barn-red. I am the messiest painter!!! By the time I went home, both hands were completly white, so was my red sweater and I had it ALL over my face and my hair. My husband on the other hand, had a teensy, tiny bit of paint on his pinky. Tell me... how is this possible? I didnt know you could stay so clean and paint at the same time. Its an anomaly.

He is getting a sprayer to do the paint job.... probably should have done that for the primer?? Well, it will be done today, and I am proud of him for stepping up and doing something that he hates in the name of service for others. He's such a great man!

Susie makes Sushi at home now...

Ok so we are never ever going out for sushi again. We decided to make it at home last night... (stunk her house up royal) or rather my mother in laws house. Sooooooooo easy!!!!!!! And tasted great!! And we realized that for $10 from the store, we made about $60 worth of sushi from a restaurant. And we could put as much fish in the rolls as we wanted to! I'd recommend it to anyone.

A few pointers tho:

• Never use fresh water fish... apparently the salt water helps to kill parasites.
• Use fish that has been frozen for a long time. We got ours from the freezer section in Winco. The freezing process also kills parasites. Even the "fresh" fish you get at a sushi bar has been frozen. (Its an FDA standard now)
• Just for safety reasons we steamed our fish on both sides for 20 seconds each.
• Make sure you wipe down your kitchen with anti-bacterial stuff throughout the process as the fish juice gets everywhere since you handle it with your hands.
• We did salmon & tuna steaks with cucumber. (Yum!)

Letting dreams be dreams

Dreams are such a weird thing. One night it may be the sweetest, warm feeling dream and you wake up feeling great, or like last night, it could be your worst fears surfacing. (not my favorite) I realize that dreams are your brains way of processing days events, scenarios & fears... but then you have the absolute bizarre ones that seem like you just stepped into a Salvador Dali painting, aside from the fact that everything makes sense at the time. Why? No clue. All I know is that most of them put me in a bad mood temporarily, although some leave me completely pissed off all day and I sit and stew in it.

Nightmares are the worst. I know a nightmare is usually pegged as a horrible death or something really scary like in the movies, I tend to call any of my bad dreams a nightmare. Whenever it deals with a fear of mine, its considered a night mare. Through studies I know that dreams usually end up meaning just the opposite of what they portray as your brain processess it, like if you dream of death that usually means there is a re-birth of some aspect in your life, and the more horrible the death the better the outcome in real life. Wonder why...

I suppose its an interesting concept. Although the way things have been going lately, I'd rather not dream at all.

Back to Nampa....yay.

Well its official... we are moving to Nampa. Again. Although this time we are only having to shell out $150 for rent. (That is a huge YAY!!! from me) I was fine living in Caldwell, yes the mold was irritating, but Zac is ready to go so we are half way moved. I understand now why mom didnt want to clean out 15 years of garage... I only have 2 years of basement and its killing me. We took 9 lawn sacks of clothes and miscellany to the thrift store. And yes, we have more to go. Not to mention I still have to tile that dang bathroom. (My own fault, I know..)

I am excited to just be done with it. God help us.

Trip to Moscow

(the photos are my sister Shannon)

We got back Easter Sunday from a trip up to Moscow to the University of Idaho to see my sister Shannon. Wind and random snow flurries aside, we had a great time. We got home by about 5pm, said hi to our kitty (who had proceeded to annihilate a roll of toilet paper while we were gone and spread it everywhere) and then both my husband and I crawled into our own bed with our own sheets and just snuggled in. Its amazing how comfortable your very own bed feels after sleeping somewhere else. We stayed at a friends house, but spent most of the time with my parents and my sister. What a great dancer she is!! We initially went up there to see her big end-of-the-year performance for her modern class. I'm a classical ballet teacher so I'm really not thrilled at the prospect of modern dance, but she did well and there were snippets of actual dancing that she got to do and she is just amazing. The dances she wasn't in I just enjoyed the live music. They had a small jazz bad as the music. I brought my scriptures with me for the times when I got r-e-a-l-l-y bored, and got a little reading in. Learned a few things I didn't know. Zac and I didn't get any together reading time just because his friends kept us up late and when we actually did get to bed we were so tired we were able to muster a prayer and a kiss good night before we both passed out. We were both battling a cold too so I'm sure the Nyquil didn't really help that. :)

The day before Easter my parents took me around the University campus, what a pretty place! I am still undecided if I would have enjoyed college life living on campus or would have had 4 years of social anxiety disorder. I got nervous just walking to the campus! So many people! And the sorority and fraternity houses were mansions! Its like what you see in the movies!! I live close to Boise State University and the campus is a lot newer than U of I so the sorority and frat houses are just the tiny little run down cottages. I wondered while I was up there if everything you see in the college movies ends up really happening...We ate at the college cafe (Bob's) since my parents have guest passes, it's reminiscent of the food court in the mall, not bad food, but according to my sister it gets really old when you eat there every day. I dug in at the salad bar both afternoons (we went Friday too), while Zac dug into the breakfast cereal. Right there lies the difference between male and female.

My sisters dorm is pretty nice too... her roommate situation didn't work out so she has the room to herself. She is such a sweetheart! I love her to death. I am so glad I had the opportunity to go up there and see her dance. It seemed to me though that every one was still so young and yet they are the same age as my husband and I. Perhaps when you get married and have responsibilities to attend to maybe it makes you grow up faster. It seemed that these collegiates still had a high school mindset.

For Easter, since we were with my parents and had a time schedule we didn't go to church but went to our traditional Easter brunch at The Breakfast Club. Soooo good. Never thought to put gravy on eggs, but WOW! Defiantly something to try at home. So it wasn's a really eventful weekend, but it was fun. I've never been that north in Idaho before and it was good to see what my sis has been doing all year. Ok, well thats the update, felt like I had to write it down...why not? Thanks for listening.

An email worth reading.

I got this in an email. Its good to know at least some of our youth's brains are working.

WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA
Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned.... A kid in Arizona wrote the following


Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

In-laws and Outlaws

YAY!!! Praise the Lord my family is at peace!!! Somehow, through Gods good grace and many many many prayers.... my family has reconciled!!! It is as it was before.

Lord, I thank thee for the blessing of family that thou hast given me, that everything is turned right in thine eyes and that I may enjoy this newfound peace. I ask that thou please continue these days of peace and I say these things in the name of the son Jesus Christ, Amen.

"Home is where the heart is"

There really is no place in the world like home. Wherever you call it, that is your spot. Your home is your sanctuary, the one place where whether it is quiet or not, you can still find a quiet spot in your heart for. Its the place after a long day you can flop on the couch and finally breathe, knowing that there will not be any more multi-line phone calls and no deadlines to meet. It is the place where your family, your greatest allies, live and support you. It is the only place you really feel comfortable having a good cry.

I am so thankful for my husband and the place we call home. Yes it gets cluttered and sometimes messy, but it is still that place that I look forward to going every day after work and the place that I hate to leave in the morning to go to work. There are plenty of places in the world I would love to see and even live, but it doesnt matter where we live...wherever my husband and my cat are, that is truly my home.

Speak well of others...

As Christians, we are implored to not speak ill of others. " A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow." Proverbs 25:18. For some reason, this seems an impossible feat to most people (women more so, but I've heard men do it too). I will admit that in my younger days and up until about 6 months ago I was rarin' to go anytime someone brought up the faults of others. Looking back I can honestly say that it made me feel better that someone else was miserable. Sadistic? Slightly...

I think we all have a natural tendency to focus on the negative aspects of things and people. How often are you inclined to dish out a compliment rather than focus on the humongous zit on their forehead or the 10 pounds they might have gained? As Christians, we would be hypocrites if we said the first negative thing that came to mind about someone and then went to church on Sunday and sang the Lord's praises. Isn't that a bit counter-productive? Once I realized that being a Christian wasnt just about going to church, it was about trying to emulate Jesus and get back to His kingdom, it seemed to make it easier to see how nice Sister so-and-so did her hair that day instead of focusing on why she couldnt keep her kids quiet in Sacrament Meeting.

While studying, I found this quote from Johnathon Edwards on "A Wise Woman Builds her Home" blog http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/ (also linked at the right) which says everything I was looking for. Please take it to heart!!!

"Proud people tend to speak of other's sins, the miserable delusion of hypocrites, the deadness of some saints with bitterness, or the opposition to holiness of many believers. Pure Christian humility, however, is silent about the sins of others, or speaks of them with grief and pity. The spiritually proud person finds fault with other saints for their lack of progress in grace, while the humble Christian sees so much evil in his own heart, and is so concerned about it, that he is not apt to be very busy with other hearts. He complains most of himself and his own spiritual coldness and readily hopes that most everybody has more love and thankfulness to God than he.""One under the influence of spiritual pride is more apt to instruct others than to ask questions. Such a person naturally puts on the airs of a master. The eminently humble Christian thinks he needs help from everybody, whereas the spiritually proud person thinks everybody needs his help. Christian humility, under a sense of others’ misery, entreats and beseeches, but spiritual pride commands and warns with authority."-Jonathan Edwards- Spiritual Pride

The Focus of Faith

I read this in this months Ensign, and had to share. It puts it in great context.

THE FOCUS OF OUR FAITH

We know not all that lies ahead of us. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the Polar Star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith.
In sunshine and in shadow we look to Him, and He is there to assure and smile upon us.
He is the central focus of our worship. He is the Son of the living God, the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten in the flesh. He is “risen from the dead, … the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20). He is the Lord who shall come again “to reign on the earth over his people” (D&C 76:63; see also Micah 4:7; Revelation 11:15).
None so great has ever walked the earth. None other has made a comparable sacrifice or granted a comparable blessing. He is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world. I believe in Him. I declare His divinity without equivocation or compromise. I love Him. I speak the name of Jesus Christ in reverence and wonder. He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God.
He Is Risen, by Greg K. Olsen; border © Dover Publications

A Tangent on Self Worth

I feel like I need to say some more words on self worth, partly because it is an ongoing battle that I personally am fighting, and partly because of a recent event that took place. I teach classical ballet at my old studio where I grew up dancing and I teach the beginner and intermediate pointe classes. (think nutcracker suite) In my intermediate class, in the dance we are preparing, I have the girls paired up, one to be a support while the other does a turn into a sort of "fall". I'd like you to keep in mind the age range in the intermediates is 12-17. Most of them are 13-14. So we are practicing and I assign the partners according to where they stand in the formation. Ive got one girl that publicly said that she couldn't be the one turning cuz she was to big and would crush her partner.

Let me tell you about this girl: she is 14 years old about 5'4 and no body fat on her whatsoever. Now I didn't thin-out until late high school, but her insecurity hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like I was looking at myself for a split second. Half of me wanted to sympathize with her, but the other (mature) half who decided she needed hips, looked at it like "That is so sad." But I feel like I cant do or say anything to make a difference because I am still struggling with it myself.

So what to do?? I figured that the only thing I can do is to stay out of it unless she comes directly to me about it. I remember being her age and at that point no matter what anyone said it went in one ear and out the other. Since going back to church and studying the scriptures, I am slowly getting better. Now I am slowly coming to realize that God made me in His image, therefore I am perfect in His eyes, so to not be happy with what He gave me is to disrespect Him in a way. Right now my mind knows this principle, but it is slow going getting to my heart. I'm working on it, and it is slowly getting better. I still would sometimes like to change things esthetically.

It is just irritating that I cant get over it, mostly because I feel like a hypocrite trying to help this girl who thinks she's fat when she isn't, but here I am still sort of wanting implants because I'm not happy about the top half of me sometimes. As much as I want to help her, I keep telling myself that she is only 14 and this is a normal stage of life for her. I suppose if anyone reads this, any ideas???