im alive

Its been a few days since I last posted... have a great reason... Im employed. I did get the job and it is a bit tiring. But a job nonetheless. Just trying to balance work and my disaster of a house. 

In baby news, Im 9 weeks along... girl name so far: Sonja Elise...boy name so far: Jacob Michael. Subject to change at any time, though probably not. 1st ultrasound is next week, get to hear the heartbeat. 

I dont have a ton of time for writing right now, but just wanted to stick my head in and say hi and Im still here.

When frusterations mount. (or rather, me venting)

I cant get ahead of myself. My house. My chores. My thoughts. Ive got things to do, choices to make and for some reason or another they all pile up on me at once when I have absolutley no time to sort through them. Today I go sign my hiring papers, Zac got paid, and now I have to decide whether to pay the truck today and get enough food to get by for the week, or pay the truck a day late next week and buy decent food for the week. I also have a kitchen to clean up, a mysterious blue envelope to find (i hope its in the closet!), quickbooks to settle out, call the tax guy to see if we have to file in Idaho or Washington, and many many growing piles that I havent had the time to put away or go through. My bathroom needs a deep clean and the bedroom is growing clothes. Not to mention I have to fit in my workout, and be ready for hubs when he comes home in a bad mood so I can cheer him up and be the rock of the household as per usual. Oh, and I have to take the movies back, fill out an exit application for Zacs student loans and somehow find money for a brake job before my wheels fall off.

All this on top of being pregnantly fatigued which is driving me mad. The temple is closed until the 24th for maintenance, I havent really had time to do devotions, not like I've really felt very pious enough to do them. I cant fast because Im pregnant, I totally spaced family home evening which is supposed to take place on Monday, but I forgot and have been forgetting every single day since. So I am calling quits on that until next monday. Then there is always the very real fear of Zac getting laid off, every Friday it seems that some rumor goes around his work that they will be laying off 20 people this week, etc.  Which most of the time doesnt happen, but that company is very good at layoffs if they dont like you or if they see you arent working hard. Which is a little bit of a catch-22 there because they are very slow right now so everyone is scrambling for even the most menial something to look busy. Which in turn brings my hubby home in not so great moods and there seems I can do nothing really to help him other that remain cheerful and happy and steadfast all the while I just want to cry and be down myself because I havent accomplished what I wanted to that day and Im tired and and I dont have anyone to tell me that its going to be ok or to get me a cup of tea.  

And I know I cant stress out because that would stress out the baby and thats not good apparently. in a sense, I guess its a good thing that I am having to be cheerful all the time, it does tend to keep me out of bad moods, but still. And I dont know how I am going to wing getting anything done when I start working. Hubs said he'd help me out, I appreciate that! I will get off at 4pm, so that adds an hour to my after work schedule.  Sorry for the venting but I needed it. 

My dishwasher agitates me.

Does anyone else have this problem?? I have a VERY loud dishwasher, the cycle is quick, but during the cycle I can hardly hear myself think. I am not a loud noise person, never have been. So when this thing has to go off, I get really agitated and anxious. I dont know if it is just because I really enjoy my quiet little space and when it is on it interferes with my thoughts, or perhaps it is a noisy reminder of all the things I havent accomplished that day. The latter sounds about right, when Ive got the dishwasher on, that means that I probably still have one more load to do, and usually that goes hand in hand with cleaning the rest of the house. Either way it is still annoying. 

Doc appt. went very well yesterday.  I love Kaiser!! What a great medical place. My doc was great too. Zac came in with me, we got to ask all our burning questions. Oh and have a PAP. Yeah. Fun. Oh and I can have the TB test. So now I am scheduled for blood work, an ultra sound and another doc appt all before the 18th of March. Busy. 

How should I tell the new job I just got hired on to?

Cheesy-poofs and a new job?

Well, I am back from my pee test. Apparently Im hired! (Yippee!!) Except for the fact that I have to take a TB test, mandatory for being hired. Soooo....Im going to ask the doc tomorrow about it. I think that if they have to inject a little in the skin, then I probably wont get the job. But if they do a blood draw, then I am fine. Again, I will talk to my doc. Im keeping my fingers crossed, perhaps if they want to do the injection, they will let me find my own doctor to do the blood draw.

So after that, I ran my errands. Post office, only to tell me that the package I got a "missed package" slip for is actually at the front office of my apartment building, and has been all weekend!! What a pain. Then to Freddies to buy enough granola bars for hubby to get through the week, and  a sandwich for a starving pregnant lady. (ie: me) Then on to Trader Joes, I dont mind that place too much, it just always smells like old cheese. We get our tea from there, and while I was there, not being satisfied by a sandwich came upon these cheesy poofs. Ive eaten almost all the bag, they are sooooo gooood!!!! Now I just need a ginger ale to finish it off.... hmm.. forgot about that part. O well. 

Good news, I hope.

So good news has come my way... at 9am this morning I was woken up by a call from the lady I had interviewed with last week to come in and take a drug test and fill something out. This doesnt mean I have the job yet, just that I qualified to make the final cut. I have to go in at 11, so I guess my errand will get done early since I will be out. 

Anniversary #3 for hubs and I are coming up Saturday! Weve been together for 9 years, 3 of which are married years. Im not sure what to do, usually we just stay in and I go all out with dinner and last year I think we rented a movie. Perhaps I'll do steak and scallops this year... I'd do sushi with him, but I cant eat it until after Child X is born. 

I got to talk to my best bud Cece yesterday, she is loving mommy-hood, and my pregnancy couldnt have come at a better time! Now I've got someone who just went through everything, so I can wrack her brains for her secrets... bwwaahhaaahahaaha. My mom is a good resource too, but she had my sister 19 years ago, so she doesnt remember much. Not to mention she is waaaaay taller and has a different bone structure than I do, so I cant compare anything there.  

Ive defenitly got a case of the pregnancy brain though. Its like all switches have been turned off. Like posting this week and last... Brain. Just. Wasnt. Working. 

Well I have to go get dressed and stuff, so perhaps tomorrow I will have something interesting to write about. 

For the Un-Valentines

We dont celebrate Valentines day. No, it isnt for religious reasons, my husband just doesnt like it. And not to mention our anniversary is 7 days later... so that would mean 2 gifts.... hmmm... Im getting slighted here, no? lol

No, I have feelings of animosity towards Red and Pink day too. Perhaps because I know we just dont celebrate it. Although the funny thing is that even though we dont "celebrate" it, my husband always does something romantic for me on that day. Way to confuse a girl right? 

I always end up sneaking around and doing something for him for V. day. Today I am planning to make heart shaped sugar cookies. I hope I can find a decent frosting recipe. Ya know like the ones on christmas cookies your neighbors give you, and the frosting is hard and stays on the cookie? I have yet to figure that one out. 

 I am happy to report we are back to the land of the living and I can now start planning for this week. Joanns is having a sale on Monday, I plan to pick up some fleecy stuff and patterns for Child X and perhaps some more yarn. Today is the blessed food shopping day!! Pot Roast here I come!! We have been eating well for the past week, but it has been very cheap things over and over like potatos. And eggs. Well, eggs for hubby. And thankfully I had bought chicken breast in bulk and froze them, so hubs would have dinner and lunches. So now I am overjoyed to go actually get somethings with flavor!!! Oh have you ever tried pizza from Leonardis in Winco? Best pizza ever!!!

I am anxiously awaiting a phone call also. Wednesday I had a job interview as a housekeeper at a really ritzy retirement home. It is so nice inside!! The interview went well, and my interviewer said she had a few people to talk to also, but said she would call whether good or bad news. I would be appreciative of either. I hate it when you never hear back from a company you interviewed for. 

I have my doc appt on Wednesday. Im excited to get the ball rolling. I suppose there is a little comfort in having a  doctor finally.  Well, if I am going to get anything done, I better go do it. have a great day!

MIA

I know I've been MIA for a few days, but I just havent felt up to doing much. Every morning I have a routine of things I read on the internet, and one of them just happens to be the comic strip For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston. This was todays strip and I couldnt agree with it more. Yes I am greatful for all the rights women have, that we arent drug around by the hair when a man wants something, but really... we are female. Not male. Our bodies were made to look good in dresses, our features are softer and more gentle, and our maternal instincts do  show up at one time or another. In my opinion, if women were supposed to be exactly like men, why would He give us such wonderfully different gifts? Anywho, I am in no mood to research this topic and write an essay, I just got back from working out and it almost killed me. 

I am 7 weeks along. YAY! And still tired. And chicken is my worst enemy unless it is a McChicken sandwich or a Spicy chicken sandwich from Wendys. I dont know why. I even made chicken burritos for my hubby last night, and it had so much stuff in it my husband said you couldnt even taste the chicken, so I tried a bite and puked immediatly. I hope this goes away soon. 

I havent much to say today, I am pretty tired, so I will leave you with that rambling thought and a note saying IM STILL HERE! Have a wonderful day.

13 minutes of Reassurance

I love this sermon I found on sermonaudio.com. It is the burdens of life, but gives such great reassurance in our Lord Jesus Christ, I've listened to it I dont know how many times. Just push the play button, what can be better than 13 minutes of being reassured?

A life on hold.

Holy crap. i did it!! After 20 minutes on hold with Kaiser, they finally figured out where my insurance papers were and were able to issue me temp. coverage so I could make an appt!!! YYAAAYYY!!!! I am so thrilled. I am ready to get this doctor stuff up and going as this is our first child and I freak out on some days that Im not doing the right thing. 

So now i'm on hold to make an appt. Sigh. it never ends does it??

OK. I have an appt. FINALLY. Talk about making mountains out of molehills. 

Ok enough of that, I got this emailed to me, so heres my answers:

Hearing

.
the hum of my noisy fridge
.
. 
Seeing
.
a mess that needs attention
.
.
Smelling
.
Oatmeal.

.
Praying

that our baby is doing well
.
.
Thanking

.

hubby for the flowers - again

.
.
Reading

.

what to expect when youre expecting 
..

Listening

.

to sermonaudio.com

.

..

Cooking

.

nothing right now.

.
.

Cleaning
.

ha. ha. ha.

.
..

Tending

.

the tadpole baking in me

.

.
Eating

.

oatmeal.

.

.

Drinking

.

water. lots and lots of water

.
.

Wearing

.

pjs. 

Nothing says welcome to pregnancy better than a hard boiled egg.

(they are laughing at me, I know it.)

Ugh. I think I just had my first food aversion. Hard boiled eggs. I just made a wonderful spinach salad with cheese and avacado and veggies and then put a hard boiled egg in. What a way to ruin a salad. Which Im bummed about because eggs were my favorite part of the salad pre-pregnancy. 

I took out most of the egg, but as it was crumbled in there, I just had to grin and bear in and then suck down a handful of grapes to get the taste out of my mouth and hopefully keep me from puking. Stupid eggs. 

On a better note, I have the most awesomest husband in the world!! Yesterday he suprised me with a bouquet of flowers just because. I love getting flowers!!! It was so sweet of him to do that for me, not to mention they look great in my kitchen. 

Better Late than Never...

In December, a lovely lady from Tracy's Corner gave me a bloggy award for liking my blog! Yay! Thats my first! Ive had it in my cache since then though, and was having issues putting it up on my blog, so I figured it out and now I am awarding 5 blogs I love!

So here are the winners for my pick of awesome blogs! Winners, just click the piture and save it to your computer so you can put it on your blog, and then choose 5 more people you would like to award.

1. Anna at Domestic Felicity for letting us in on Jewish life and her wonderful new family!

2. Jenni at One Thing for loving life and having wit and humor that knocks me off my chair somedays.

3. Celia Hall for her honest posting and a small link to back home

4. Brin at Messy Thrilling Life for perservering in hard times and still being able to write wonderful things

5. The lady at Destination 1940 for giving me a glimpse into a simpler time. I love the old photos she posts too!!

Little Miss Book

Cecelia had her baby!! 6lbs 11oz girl! Congratulations Cecelia and Aaron!!!

I am currently 5 weeks and 2 days, but my due date is Sept. 30th... 8 months exactly from you cece.. 

Good News/Bad News

Good news first! Cecelia is in labor!! A day early!! Oh Im so excited for her. Im excited to see if I was right about the boy/girl factor. 

Bad news: I feel like poo. Just unmotivated, worried, stressed out, etc. I know I have things to do today, but all I really feel like doing is having it be dark and thunderstormy and sit inside with a cup of something and watch tv and movies all day long. Hide from the world. But alas, I need eggs. And I have a couple batches of cookies to get done. And mail a letter. And call a former client. And was planning of de cluttering things and/or deep cleaning my bathroom. Oh, and work out. Its 10:30am. Zac gets home at 3:30. Five hours to do everything isnt enough. Something will have to go. 

Good news: I actually got some feedback in an email from a company I interviewed at on the 9th.. I really like the job description... and gave up after not hearing back after a week. But today I got a personal email from the guy that said they should be making up their minds this next week and they would contact me wether or not I got the job. Sooo... that brings my hopes and spirits up a bit. Its part time, but at a good rate. 

Bad news: Im missing my family. 

Good news: Found sermon-audio.com. Listening to sermons on burdens of life today, pretty uplifting. They help. Also found Audio-bible.com, where someone reads the bible to you. And it is actually a persons voice, not a robot. 

Bad news: My water is tasting like chlorine. Uggh.

Good news: Insurance starts on the 1st. I can finally make my 1st doc appt!

Bad news: Obama just spent a ton of freakin money. (no i dont want to argue about it. whatever.)

Good news: I have texting! I am also talking to my sis right now.

Life is generally good. I just am the biggest worry-wart on the planet. I sometimes stress out about things that I know God will take care of that are out of my hands entirely. And, being human, I stress out about things I should have given to God in the first place. I am glad to have such support. 

Oh I cant wait for photos of little Mr or Miss Book!! Personally, it would drive me insane to not know if it were a boy or a girl. I mean, what if you had twins? Wouldnt that just drive you (ladies) mad?

Ok, I really need to get some breakfast going and get my day started. I think if i could ask for anything right now, it would be one day where I could do whatever i wanted and not have to remember to do anything. Such is life. Have a great day!

Schtuff.

So many jobs out there.... so few calls to me! What gives? Oh well. So it snowed like 2 inches yesterday... after 3 weeks of sun. Vancouver weather is just as weird as Boise. 

Our good friend Celia goes into surgury today, (i think, celia if you are reading this right now, correct me please) Please help me pray that things go well for her.

My grandfather got admitted to the emergency room yesterday for lack of salt in his blood after having a plural sac drained. Please help me pray for him too. I'd like him to be around to see his first great-grandkid. 

Was in a crappy mood yesterday, and I think today might be about the same. Although I was up at 8am for some insane reason. Thats a record considering this past 2 weeks 10am has been considered early.

I am kinda missing home today, but I am thankful that ive got internet and a phone. Cecelia is due to have her baby any day now... technically the due date is the 30th, but we all know babys have a mind of thier own as to when the decide to drop in. 

Alright, i need to check blogs now, perhaps they will cheer  me up. Usually they do.

More new treasures

A couple new finds that are in my faves list.... my sis just started her blog... hope she keeps up on it... 

The Vintage Housewife, a rockin' kittin whose lovin everything 1950's

 Destination 1940- Awesome lady who brings us into the everyday life of a 1940's woman

Like a Warm Cup of Coffee - This is just a fun site

I take Joy - a lady with a ministry, very nice atmosphere

All of these plus many other great ones are on the left side of my page. 

This is the most awesome thing ever!

I love this group called Improv Everywhere. YouTube has a ton of their stuff, this one was just cool. Also, got to www.improveverywhere.com

Rambling on

Today is a random post day. I dont have a topic, or a theme. I just want to write, so bear with me. Slept in until 9:30 this morning. Could have slept in until noon, but I had some business to take care of while the day was still early. In case you're wondering, I got it done in 1/2 hour. Its only 10:03 now. We got our mold situation figured out, they replaced the sheetrock and repainted, they must use low odor everything because I cant smell a thing which is a blessing. I hate paint fumes.

 I have been so forgetful lately. My brain is one big fuzzball. I miss my dance girls too. And Stinky. I dont miss Idaho at all, just the people and the homes that are in it. But its not a homesick feeling, I just get a little down when I think about how easy it was to go visit mom and dad 10 minutes down the road, and now they are 8 hours away. Thats doable, but not unless we stay for a week. Oh, we are thinking about coming back down to Idaho this spring, in a couple months. Figure spring rather than later in the summer when we'd be driving 8 hours with a larger pregnant belly and overactive bladder. Not to mention the Idaho summer heat. Ugh.

I havent wanted to do much lately, all I really want to do is kick back in my pjs and watch cartoons all day long. YouTube has all the old cartoons (GOOD cartoons) I used to watch growing up. Cece, you'll know what Im talking about. Not like that crap on cartoon network. And we wonder why our youth is retarded. They are all subject to Ed, Edd and Eddy. (stupid.)

I am glad I have been working out consistently. I feel good. I wish I had someone to work out with, but o well. Zac had started, but then he started working so early for awhile that he was waaay to tired to exercise. I dont blame him, if I had to put in 10 hour days, you wouldnt be able to get me out of bed on Saturdays. And it is nice to while working out, I have some time to get through my book. Usually I would have raced through it by now, but life calls and apparently so does dinner, so time isnt really in book-reading favor. 

So far, I havent had any cravings, but I just cant stand anything sugary. The thought of sweets and cookies and stuff really are turning me off and even taking a bite of cookie yesterday was disgusting. I hope it stays that way. I have wanted lemongrass chicken and asparagus though...maybe next week. 

Alright, enough for today. Have a great one!

Can I go to sleep yet?

Ok so it has finally really hit home, were having a baby. Ofcourse, the excitement hasnt worn off, and I dont think it will until I've got a rugrat smearing lipstick all over the walls.  Anywho, I am feeling fine, just tired. Make that TIRED. So far some days are better than others, but forcing yourself to work out when you feel that sluggish is HARD. But I congratulate myself afterwords because then I feel good. 

Havent had morning sickness, just the gamut of other things like, oh i dont know, eating everything in sight and starving right afterwords?  Just cant get enough. Right now I am trying to figure out our insurance, technically it doesnt start until Feb1, which is fine, because docs dont generally want to see you until 8 weeks or so, but in order to make an appt, I have to be insured so I am trying to push my paperwork along more quickly than usual. Still cant get ahold of the stupid lady. It will work out. 

My family is really excited too! The best reaction was from my grandma Mary. She is a hoot. Although my sister about had a coronary and an asthma attack. Im so excited!

Babies: Part Two

IM EXPECTING! We just came back from the doc's with a POSITIVE certificate. I am 4 weeks along... I think its a girl. :)

Mold.

My bedroom looks like I've left it in the back of the fridge for months. It looks worse in person. Yes Ive got the maintenence guy here to fix it. They have to remove the wall to see what is going on. the Photo in the middle, if you can see it, was 1 inch white fuzzy stuff.

I finally figured it out!

If any of you want a signature on your blog, here is the easiest  http://mylivesignature.com

At the end when you get the code, just copy it, then go into blogger Settings, then Formatting, then scroll down to the Post Template box and paste and save!

BABIES!!

Congratulations to Mrs Anna T. at Domestic Felicity, she and her husband just welcomed a healthy baby girl. 

Everywhere I go lately, I am surrounded by pregnant people and newborns! My best bud Cecelia is due very very soon  to give birth to the boy* I know she is going to have. (Ok, i dont know it, but I'd like to think I'm right) Anna at Domestic Felicity just had hers. A good friend of ours we met when we moved up here is 6 months with a girl. Everyone who decided to sit around us in the pews very close to us at church on Sunday has newborns! (counted them... 5. FIVE!) We've had baby blessing after baby blessing after baby blessing. 

Baby baby baby!!!

I have to laugh at myself though...ask me a few years ago what I thought of babies? Ugh. Yuck. I dont know how to hold it, you take her. What a funny looking creature. Ok, waaaay to loud. You want me to change what?! And so on. 

Now in the past year, and I do attribute most of this from actually seeing my nephew brand new, and just how sweet of spirit he had just coming into the world, and being able to be around him and help my sister in law out with him, kinda changed my mind. So now every time im next to a new little guy/girl, I cant help but be the adoring fan.  (unless it is the 100 pound toddler that throws VERY LOUD fits in church and NO ONE WILL TAKE HIM OUTSIDE, then it rakes my nerves)

Cece, thanks for the photos on your blog, i left you some comments. Check out how cute her nursery is! Man, if I were to look like anybody pregnant, it would be her. She is making even 8 1/2 months pregnant sexy! She did everything right, eating right, excercising regularly and Im sure getting enough rest. My hats of to ya Cece, you look great, your gonna be a great mom. I am sooo excited to see her baby, even if it is only in potos. Boo. :( 

Its funny, I used to never ever ever want kids. Well, it will happen when it happens, not really rushing it. Alright, my day is calling me, actually needing me to get out of my oh-so-luxurious bathrobe and slippers. Sigh. Have a wonderful day!

New Treasure Discovered!

http://ruespeanutbutterandjellylife.blogspot.com/

I found this blog yesterday... love it.

Do I have to?

So I have made my list of what to do today.

1)Library

2)Unemployment Office

3) Food Shopping

4) Post coats on Craigslist

5)Find other things to post on Craigslist

Does any of this require a shower? Really? Ok, yes I know. It does. I have just been so tired lately, and not sleepy tired, just blah tired, everything seems to be wearing me out lately. But I know that with a shower, the world welcomes you a bit more than if you walked out into it all stinky.

It certainly doesnt help the fact that it is 10:30am and I am still in my bathrobe contemplating the next course of breakfast. As of yesterday I could eat the world, nothing seems to be satisfying. And it sucks because I have nothing left in the house to eat that doesnt require thawing, sautee-ing and spicing. Why cant I ever bring myself to buy pop tarts or something? Why?

I also have a dang hall closet to clean out... you know, the kind where you have to literally run from the kitchen and slam into the door to close it? (keep in mind this is the only hall closet we have) But that isnt a project for today.

Tomorrow, we are going to walk the docks of Portland and hang out in the harbors. Unless Zac has to work overtime, which I wont complain considering it means easier bill paying. We were supposed to speak in church this Sunday, but it was so up in the air whether he had to work this weekend or not, so we declined. Usually he finds out if he has to work overtime the night before. 

Ok. Shower is calling. Kinda. So is more toast. Hope y'all have a great day.

I need your input.

Ok, I need help. I want to do something insanly nice for my husband to let him know just how much I appreciate him as a husband and as a working man. I want to do or give him something that says I love everything about him  and am so thankful that he is my other half. Any ideas?

If this were 3 years ago at the beginning of our marriage, all I'd have to do is suprise him with two

40 oz Miller Hi-Lifes and Papa Johns cheese pizza with extra garlic butter. However, that was three years ago, we dont drink and my stomach doesnt do pizza. 

Sooooo.... flowers? Chocolates? Stuffed animal? If the weather would turn icy again, he'd be forced to take my car and i could detail the truck for him, (while freezing my tushy off.). Any good ideas? Oh, and he is not a sports fan. He enjoys going to college football games for the fun of it, and watching it on tv, but ask him what BCS or WAC stands for or who Coach Hawkins coaches for now, well, he'd die if it were a life or death question. 

Please let me know if you have anything. Anything! Thanks!

Its been 4 days already?

Huh. time has flown by. Zac is having to work weekends now too, so that makes 7 days a week he has to get up at 3:50am to get to work at 4:30. Which is totally throwing me off schedule. And is making me a bit tired, getting him out the door so early and then going back to bed. I should just stay up, but bed is so warm, and if i were to take a nap later in the day, I'd crash for too long. Cant win. Although it is nice that he gets time and a half every day and double time on Sundays, although I did miss him at church day before yesterday.

So I went to my job interview... I thought it went well. Well enough I suppose. He said that they are interveiwing a few people and he would call me back in a few weeks. So my search continues. 

Made turkey burgers last night... why? because ground turkey is cheaper than ground beef here. Ground pork is cheaper than turkey, but they were out of the good kind. Weve taken to eating a lot of ground pork. It is a waaay better flavor, and lighter than beef. Anywho, turkey burgers. They are good for women. Dieting women. Women who care about calories and feeling empty. NOT good for husbands who work 10 hours a day. After the 3rd one, yes 3, you feel kinda sick. Why did he have three? Because turkey just isnt as dense apparently. It really felt like I was eating ketchup-ed air. It was good tasting air, but hardly filling unless you have more than 2. Oh well. I saved on calories :)

Oh ya and my husband drug me to see the movie "the unborn" on Saturday..... dont see it. I hate scary movies, so does he, but he enjoys the torture for some reason. The girl in it looks alot like the girl from Transformers, but it isnt. Its her brown eyed twin. 

Today I am feeling very sporadic. I want to go work out, but then I keep thinking about the chicken that needs to be cut up and what not  and im just not getting anything done. I know a shower would help, but what good is a shower when your going to get all sweaty? I dont know. 

Sorry for such randomness, my wires arent connecting today. Oh and Cece, if you read this one, would you please give Stinky and extra squeeze for me please? I miss him. Hope y'all have a great day!

I cant think of a title.

So today was day 1 of job interviewing. I had one at 10:30 today at Modern Day Mommies, a site from women for women offering women empowerment services. (by that I mean dula's, healthcare, perinatal care, etc.) It turned out to be a position in sales, which wouldnt be so bad, but the company is so green, and it is commission, and I need a job now that is either salary or hourly. So that didnt work out. The lady who heads the company is super nice though, I'd love to work for her. Perhaps down the road. 

Monday is my other interview at Miyamoto International, Structural & Earthquake Engineers. As an admin. assistant, not an engineer. So far this position sounds more like what I am used to and where my skills lay. If they offer it to me I am going to take it. Minimum wage is 8.95 here, and they are offering $12-14 DOE. $14 an hour would be nice. 

I have plastered Vancouver with resumes... exhausting. So I have not ceased praying that the Lord would bless us with a second income, be able to pay off some debt. Not that we have a lot, but it is more that I would prefer to have. I have been really gung-ho after Christmas to find a job and was pretty upset about not finding one last night. So I prayed, and fasted yesterday, and prayed some more. And during the last prayer I heard, "Is it really all about money to you?"

Huh??

Then I heard "You're not looking at the big picture."

What big picture??? (yes I was frusterated at this point.)

So I decided to start looking at the blessings I have. Ok Lord, I said, I have a wonderful husband who has a good job. I have a roof over our heads. I always have food sufficient for our needs.

The small voice continued "Keep going. Your still missing the big picture."

Okaaaayy..... YOU got us up to Vancouver on your will. YOU provided us with everything we need to be safe and comfortable. 

And then it came to me, flooding over me. I have HIM. He who cares so much for us, that He knows of our troubles and our stresses, and even though I am praying to Him, I was still only praying for things that I need in this material world. I needed to pray for the spiritual, to thank Him for being such a loving God. To know that I am a child of His and that when I am in tune with His flow, that the things I need to accomplish will come to pass because I let my guard down and let Him do His thing. 

Dang guards. I get so caught up in the whole mess of the human world that even though I never doubt Him, I still forget that he is my lifeforce and the drive behind my life. 

So needless to say, I am a bit more relaxed, still a little frusterated and stressed, but not nearly as bad. Tonight we are going to a church get together, which maybe will get my mind off of things. Please pray for me. 

In Defense of Us Crazed Arteeests

I didnt write this, but as a poet, artist and imaginist, I agree with the reasoning, or rather lack of reasoning this passage gives.

"Let us begin, then, with the madhouse; from this evil and fantastic inn let us set forth on our intellectual journey. Now, if we are to glance at the philosophy of sanity, the first thing to do in the matter is to blot out one big and common mistake. There is a notion adrift everywhere that imagination, especially mystical imagination, is dangerous to man's mental balance. Poets are commonly spoken of as psychologically unreliable; and generally there is a vague association between wreathing laurels in your hair and sticking straws in it. Facts and history utterly contradict this view. Most of hte very great poets have been not only sane, but extremely businesslike; and if Shakespeare ever really held horses, it was because he was much the safest man to hold them. Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination. Artistic parternity is as wholesome as physical paternity. Moreover, it is worthy of remark that when a poet really was morbid it was commonly because he had some weak spot of rationality on his brain. Poe, for instance, really was morbid; not because he was poetical, but because he was specially analytical. Even chess was too poetical for him he disliked chess because it was ful of knights and castles, like a poem. He avowedly preferred the black discs of draughts, because they were more like the mere black dots on a diagram. Perhaps the strongest case of all is this: that only one great English poet went mad, Cowper. And he was definitely driven mad by logic, by the logic of predistination. Poetry was not the disease, but the medicine; poetry partly kept him in health. He could sometimes forget the red and thirsty hell to which is hedious necessitarianism dragged him among the wide waters and the white flat lilies of the Ouse. He was damned by John Calvin he was almost saved by John Gilpin. Everywhere we see that men do not go mad by dreaming. Critics are much madder than poets. Homer is complete and calm enough; it is his critics who tear him into extravagant tatters. Shakespeare is quite himself; it is only some of his critics who have discovered that he was somebody else. And though St. John the Evangelist saw many strange monsters in his vision, he saw no creature so wild as one of his own commentators. The general fact is simple. Poetry is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion, like the physical exhaustion of Mr. Holbein. To accept everything is an exercise, to understand everything is a strain. The poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only ask to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits."

--G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Fun Stuff

Found this on a blog I frequent, One Thing. Thought it'd be fun. You're supposed to go through the list and BOLD everything that you have done.

1. Started your own blog 

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity (I’m throwing this question out because I don’t like it)

7. Been to Disneyland/world

8. Climbed a mountain.

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29 Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33 Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41 Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45 Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie (do home movies count?)

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia (does Kazahkstan count?)

60 Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Gotten flowers for no reason

64 Donated blood, platelets, or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66 Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67 Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book (are they trying to make me cry?)

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (ew!)

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life (not to my knowledge)

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby 

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a lawsuit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

Job stuff and Squirrel Nut Zippers

Well so far this year has been fairly uneventful...lol for the first 5 days anyways! Zac had time off for New Years, which was nice. But I think he was happy to go back to work, because up here it is really hard to do anything without spending money. We used to just go hang out at our parents house and bum out with siblings which was always fun, but we dont know anyone here. I think I am getting a package... the mail man just stopped infront of my door.

So I have my first interview on Friday, it is at Modern Day Mommies, Im not entirely sure what the position entails, but it is a part time stay at home position, not to mention the only interview I have, so I figure I will run with it. Ive applied for so many of the other chain stores too, ie: Macys, Nordstroms, etc... I dont understand why job applying is such a big ordeal nowadays... Ive had to fill out 45 minutes worth of application, 90% of which are answering these psychiatric evaluation questions. They have you rate the statements 1-5, and then give you the same questions over and over again, only worded differently. Are we all just a bunch of psychopaths that we need to screen people so much? Its killing me. 

I've found a new band I like too... The Squirrel Nut Zippers... Cecelia if this band doesnt remind you of Nick Brewer, it should. Its so completely Zoot Suit style, with a underground modern-esque to it. The girls voice reminds me a bit of a higher pitched Rosemary Clooney. Reminds me of something I'd see in the jazz bar in Downtown Portland. 

Ok Ive got to continue cleaning so my break is over. 

back

Hello again. I am back and feeling better. Thanks for all the concern... I was not feeling well at all!! Sorry if I alarmed everyone, but life really did suck for that day or two. 

Cecelia, I am so so glad Stinky loves you. Thats all he really is, a cuddlebutt. When Zac doenst piss him off, he is the sweetest furball I've ever had. I am a bit suprised he and Joey get along. But that is a very good thing. 

So it stopped snowing the day after Christmas, rained like crazy, and this morning we wake up to..gues what... snow?  The weather here in Vancouver is even more weird and unpredictable than it is in Nampa. I just dont get it. Oh, and I should put, after the last day it snowed? It went from 16 degrees to 40. How? 

New Years was uneventful. We are New Years apathetics. We havent watched the ball go down in years, although mostly thats due to being at a family friends house where there is so many people you cant see the TV. So this year we went back to O'Shanahans in downtown. It is a little sports pub, neither of us drink, but man do they have good food there!! And happy hour food goes until 8pm, so by the time we get out of there, the place hasnt had a chance to fill up or get loud. 

I have completed Jane Austen's novel Northanger Abbey, and did watch the made-for-tv movie and love both. The movie wasnt oscar worthy, but well enough for my taste.  I think I may like Northanger better than even Pride and Predjudice. The book that is. So now I am about 112 pages into The Canterbury Tales by Geoffry Chaucer. It was written in the 1300's, and it is quite alarmingly funny!! Albeit so far having two words that we see in this day and age as undesirable, back then it was perfectly normal speech, but it was quite shocking to see them in a story from seven hundred years ago. If you enjoy the middle ages, this book is quite insightful and very good. 

So, and this is mostly for you Linda, (wink) as of yesterday and today I have been and will be scouting out jobs. Part time, wherever. Yesterday as nothing was open, I ticketed the chain stores since I could apply online. Today, I will be going around to the coffee shops and the bagel shops and stuff. I hope something comes up soon. I hate job searching so much. Pray for me please. 

Oh, update on my mother and her ankle...she is off the heavy pain meds, but still in her cast. Doesnt get moved to a boot until March I think. She has sequestered herself in my old room on a recliner and I suppose she is quite comfortable considering she's spent plenty of nights sleeping on it when dad got to snoring too bad.

Alright, I've tried to pay a few bills online this morning too, and they dont seem to be working so I am giong to have to call them. Hope you all had a wonderful new years!

Bear with me...

Life is sucking a little bit right now and writing just insnt on the forefront of my mind at the moment. I should be back in a day or so. 

4 days until 2009!

Well, Christmas came and went without incident...well, here in Vancouver anyways. Back home, I get a call from my sister who tells me that mom snapped her ankle in half. Yes, you heard right... in half... as in her foot is dangling to the right, while her ankle is on the left, and her leg is still somewhere actually attached to her body. Ofcourse it was the first Christmas that I am away. Why not? Anywho, she is doing just fine, on pain meds. She had surgery Christmas eve and received one plate and 4 screws (yuck.) .  She is on a walker right now, and after about 6 weeks she will get a boot and a crutch. Every year it is tradition to have a big yummy seafood dinner Xmas eve... dad and Shannon got treated to green beans at the hospital cafeteria. 

We, on the other hand finally got a digital camera! However as of right now I dont have any photos that dont involve suprise shots of me in my bathrobe and morning hair groping for the lights first thing in the morning, so no photos today. 

It has started to rain in the past couple of days, so after 2 weeks of being cancelled, we finally get to go to church!! It does get old when it is snowing and automatically schools shut down and church is cancelled and everyone completely freaks out. I just dont get it. Although now that we actually get to go to church, do I feel like going anywhere? Do I feel like taking a shower? Ahem. No. I feel like a cup of tea and sitting with scripture perhaps. Actually, make that a couple cups of tea to wake up, and then maybe breakfast so that I might comprehend what I would be reading. 

Oh well. I am looking forward to 2009 and the events that will take place. I am looking forward to starting the year again and be just a little better than I was in 2008. I dont do resolutions, but changes for the better. I just pray the Lord helps me remember them. Hope you all had a great and wonderful Christmas!

Its too early to think of a title for this post.

It is 6:30 am. In the morning. In the early freakin morning. And Im not sleepy. Why? I ask aloud. I was dreaming the most awesome dream, it was an encore presentation to the book I was reading last night. In my dream the castle actually got stormed by the bad guys and the entire land was thrown into darkness... I, nearly escaping death a few times, got in close with the enemy ranks as an undercover being, leading on as if I truly were subverted by the Dark Lord to his followers, and yet always going back to my band of good guys with the knowledge I gained to try to break things apart from the inside and restore happiness and sunshine to all the land. The detail was so good and the dialogue was awesome, and then Zacs alarm jarred me awake. So I sent him off to work, fully intending to go back to bed to finish off saving the world, and now I cant sleep. I know if I forced myself to, I would wind up with a huge ol' headache and then be sleeping until 11:30. I know this because every other time I go back to bed that happens. I just cant get up at 8am. Ever. Here is the kicker.... IM YAWNING LIKE CRAZY but Im not sleepy.

Anywho, today, somehow, is Christmas Eve. (already?!) It is definitely not as eventful as years past. Christmas will be opening gifts, breakfast, going to a movie and then slugging out the rest of the day. And then its over. And then a whole new year is upon us, the one where I will turn 24. The one where starting a family will come into play. The one where hopefully God will grant us a home of our own. It will definetly be a year of firsts. I am excited, albeit a little apprehensive.

I really do wish that we were home for Christmas. I miss my family. And my kitty. And my best friend. It really is amazing how much we take for granted and then realize just how much everyone means to you when you leave. 8 hours away isnt bad, its not like I'm in France or anything, but winter time here is ridiculous. (Oh and the best part about the weather? This year we move up here is the worst winter they have had since 1968.) The interstate is closed throughout Oregon, to even get on the I-205, chains are required, to drive even into Portland, chains are required. And yet nary a snow plow to be seen. None. Nobody even shovels the walk. It is a bit ludicreous. But I am enjoying the snow, however it does remind me of plopping Stinky in the snow last Christmas and watching him zoom around in it. He would put his front paws out straight and then just snow plow down the driveway. He'd chase snowballs too, and then get confused when they dissapeared into the snow, then I'd toss a little snow ball onto his butt and the poor thing would get so confused, so he'd plow through the snow again looking for it. Thanks for permitting me a small memory. 

Zac might only have a half day today, so that means that if I go to bed, he would come home at 10:30 and I'd be asleep. Maybe I will force myself to get up at 8. (I say that every time) If anything, the house is chilly and my bed is warm, and if logic serves me right, then theoretically.... I should go back to bed. Good night.

Its a good day.

I had a dream last night that I went to visit my best bud Cecelia and actually got to sit down with her and talk, and to visit my kitty Stinky while there. She had a gazillion baby kittens too... like 4 week old little fuzzballs. It was such a relaxing and deep dream it felt like I was actually there. I woke up so refreshed and happy that I was able to hug my kitty again and to just hang out and talk with my friend I hardly ever see. I love it when dreams are that good. It was better than the dream I had before that, I think I was in Las Vegas or something and the people I was with kept shifting and somewhere was scenario where I lost my purse, and the only person helping me was a girl named Jess from A Path Less Followed blog...(Ive never ever met her let alone talked to her), but then she got whisked away by a flood... I think I prefer the simplicity of the first dream. It is indeed something I have been wanting to do anyways.

It stopped snowing. I am stuck at home again, Zac had to take the car. So I am making jam thumbprint cookies. (oh darn.) I do have to go to the store however, before they all close Christmas eve. I am getting excited about Christmas coming up... I hope all your holidays are coming together nicely. I have to go try to not burn some cookies..

Snow Beanies

It hasnt stopped snowing. Yesterday we went out side, 5 inches of snow, with 1/2 inch solid ice on top of it. Every where. Even on the other side of town. (We had to go buy more sand bags for the truck. Yes I know it was Sunday. Church was cancelled by the way, 2nd week in a row.) Look at the distance between my fingers. It took 45 minutes to chip the ice off my car. It looked like someone dumped water on my car just as it was freezing. My lock had 1/2 inch of ice on it. So a bathtub of hot water later....

So then this morning, I wake up to this: Those are steps by the way. It snowed about another 3 inches last night, and we have snow drifts in a few spots.

So Zac took the car today, has better snow abilities and the sand bags 

never got out of my car and into the truck...hehe... so I am stuck at home today. There is no way I am driving that truck, even with sandbags in the snow again. So I woke up with Zac like usual, made him Breakfast and his lunch and set to work on my first time crocheting a beanie. I am so pleased!! It worked!

Its 8am now... got a disaster calling my name. Seriously, if ya didnt know any better, you'd think 5 people lived here on the weekends. I've gotta stop taking weekends off. Mondays are just a disaster!

Ponderings of the Christmas Sort.

Thanks to my dear parents, our little tree doesnt look so lonely anymore!! I am not sure who the Crate & Barrel package is from, there was no return address, but I am assuming it is from an aunt and uncle that go for the pre-packaged gifts every year.

I am finally getting into the Christmas mood...now that my packages will be mailed out today and mom sent dads Christmas cookies. Zac is even getting into the spirit a bit now that we have gifts under..well.. next to our tree. This season has been a hard one, with everything I have ever associated Christmas with so far behind me... it is really making me start to think really what this whole Christmas schtick is all about. 

Here in Vancouver, I dont have a roaring fireplace. I dont have the laughter and warmth of parents and in-laws. I dont have the dinners dad makes us. I dont have the stockings that are normally hung. I dont have the comfort of being 10 minutes away from either set of parents. Among other things....

So sitting here with my baby Christmas tree, with the thoughtful gifts my parents sent, I am beginning to wonder why we even bother celebrating Christmas anyways. Yes, I am a church going person, yes I believe in Jesus and the virgin birth. But why then, now that all I hold familiar is stripped away, why o why does it just feel like another day? Have I really not focused on the fact that Christmas is really the celebration of the good news that Heavenly Father sent us? I was pondering this thought yesterday. I suppose up until yesterday, the only way I ever really felt the Christmas spirit was through all those material things that kinda helped it along. It never once was really about Jesus. Until Yesterday.

And the thing is, is now that I contemplate it more, it is such a different feeling to have the Christmas Spirit in Christ than the former feeling I was looking for. It is more quiet, complacent, reverent. It is warming from the inside. It definetly isnt as hectic, as chaotic as the other kind of Christmas spirit... Having the spirit in Christ is, gosh I dont even know the words. I guess what I am trying to say is that finally realizing that Christmas stripped from its wrapping paper is pure love, well.. that is a miracle. That Our Lord sent his only son to save mankind, even thousands of years after His mortal death, from the mortal sins we create and posess, that we may progress to be as He was.  That through Him we are saved from Satan and his wiles, that we are offered eternal life in His house, that we do have the chance to repent and be forgiven. What a loving God we have.

It sure makes Christmas seem alot more peaceful. Christmas in Vancouver may just be the best one I've had yet. 

Lord I am so thankful for thy presence on this Earth. I am thankful that thou hast chosen us to share thy good news and that we might be saved. I ask Lord, this season to please bless those who need thy word, and also those of us who know it, to please impress it upon us once again and I say these things in the name of our dear savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.