Its 8am...does your body know where your brain is??? (nope. not yet)

Yesterday started the long days again... 8 hours of work then onto 2 hours of rehearsal. Luckily for me we dont start until 6:30 so i have time to go home and hang out with my family for an hour and a half. But then that still made for a really tired me at the end of the day. Z usually likes me pale but he said I looked sick-pale last night.
I feel fine aside from really sleepy.

I got so much done yesterday!!! I was so happy - these 2011 books are almost ready to go to the accountant!

I am also 3 days ahead of myself. Woke up thinking it was thursday. Not a great start to the morning, but o well.

We have $200 in our Europe account! Its a start - my point in being excited about it is that I actually put money IN the account. Feels good.

Have to go get new car tags today. I re-registered online before Christmas and still havent gotten them. Turns out that they got sent to our old address. So I have to go get new ones, hopefully free of cost since I already paid for the stupid things. I dont see the point in having to register vehicles anyways. (i know the reasons, Im just being unreasonable.)

I have to set up a conference room - sorry for the randomness...brain is starting to figure out that my body is awake.

Sleepy day

I will start off by saying that I did not get near enough sleep last night. Peepers started kicking at his door about 6am but i let him stay in there until 9am when i was able to peel myself out of bed. He is kicked back in the recliner with his honey toast and I am at the kitchen table thoroughly enjoying this morning. The sun is out and shining in my kitchen, I have a lovely cup of caffeine right by me and I am finishing off the milk duds from last nights movie. Plus we cleaned the entire house last night (except our room which never gets clean it seems) so its nice and peaceful.  Perfect. I am having a wonderful morning. There will be, however, a nap for me as soon as Peepers goes down.

We had the worst movie night last night. Dont get me wrong here, I love love love the classic books. I am a big Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, etc. fans. Sooo we got the latest adaption of Jane Eyre. I like that book. Every movie I've seen of it has been a little dull, but not bad. THIS one however, made by a Cory Fukanaga...is in true japanese style. There is 10% dialogue and 90% watching Jane mull things over and looking at her face while she just stands there not answering questions from the other characters. I heard that this version really delved into the Gothic, psychological part of Janes mind. From this perspective we find out that she is retarded. Plus it was like the writers took the cliff notes and made a movie about it.

We watched the 4th Pirates as well...they are milking that story so much. Johnny depp didnt even seem in character for most of it and the scenes were just a hodge podge of ideas. Was weird. It got better towards the end, but I wouldnt reccomend it.

Ok im being summoned to go cuddle and help Peepers watch a movie so I have to go - i'll be back later.

Hi

This pic has nothing to do with the post.

Sorry, I got busy at work yesterday...Well Im holding down the fort this mornin. I kinda wish it would stay this way. Its quiet. I think I may have to quit caffeine in the mornings. I think it may be contributing to my AM anxiety  and depression. Unless its normal to be slightly depressed in the morning? If I am at home I dont get it because I think I am kept too busy with Peepers to notice. But at work when its just me then I think I may have too little distraction and then I start to notice. Either that or I am just freakin tired. I need to go to bed earlier. I always say I would love a day to sleep in - but then that means I wake up at 9am. That is not really sleeping in to someone who used to spend until 4pm on  a saturday sleeping. (keep in mind that was elementary through middle school...and some highschool)

I wish Pandora would play the music I like. Some days they are spot on...other days like today they tend to get "creative" with crappy songs.

Well today is Thursday - 1st paycheck on the new payroll - Im official now. (hired, that is...) Didnt get much since it was only for a week - I started mid payroll cycle. Next check should be better :) My goal this year is that I wind up with a raise at my 6 month review.

Z and I are starting to put the plans together for a European excursion. We would like an entire month there, but I have a feeling we may have 2 weeks max. But if the latter is true then we will just have to take multiple trips. We have yet to figure out a starting point - we only came up with this 2 days ago.

Today is such a pajama day. I have no want to get dressed today - even though I did. Unfortunatly I have to look alive at work since I man the front desk.

This year I am getting our finances in order. I am re-starting up quickbooks and will be running our personal finances like a business again. Worked so well before. We had our own business years ago so I was already on QB and just decided to do ours. And then we moved, I got prego, and gave a valiant try at it again in 2009, but the events of that year really prevented me from caring. So I stopped. THIS year, however is going to be different. We are in a new place, a bigger place, I have room for organizing and I am going to be a millionaire in 30 years so I need to start keeping track of things and start actually using my budget. I am going to do this. Plus if were supposed to go to Europe I need to make sure we are actually saving something.

I am excited about this year. It is going to be a good one. I am also putting everything I get from the Theater in savings as well so that will be nice to actually have a savings account that has somehting in it.

I am so thankful that I have a job - so thankful that it is one I like too! The Lord really does provide - He's shown me that too many times to count and it makes me really happy that I am not alone in any of my ordeals or situations. I am so totally blessed. <3

Z was having a bad day the other day and went to go see a movie - I had a bad day and a horrible rehearsal so I was in a horrendous mood that night...I think it was Tuesday?? NOTHING had gone how I wanted it to, I was  waaaaaayy PMS-y and nothing got done. Anywho - I was fairly beside myself so I picked up my scriptures (1st time in months...i need to get better at it, I know..) and decided to read Proverbs 3, since it was the 2rd day of the month. (did you know there is a proverb for every day of the month?? proverbs only go to 31..)  I started reading and then hit verses 5-7:


5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7Be not wise in thine own eyes:


I have read this proverb many times in my life and only this past Tuesday did those 3 verses really hit home. I immediately felt better - still didnt change the fact that I had a horrible day, but it softened it to the point where I was ok with it and that I would start over again tomorrow. It is nice to have a manual for life. Sure does help.

Peepers is starting in on his new-found independence. We are starting to fight everything. Its his way or the highway. (the highway being time-out.) I know it is normal for this age, however I am loving the person who invented sending kids to their rooms for "quiet time". Love that kid to death but have no clue why he thinks that kicking walls and doors when he doesnt get his way accomplishes something.

Alright - on to work. Bye!

Its official...2012 is here.

I was thinking the other day about the past 2011....it seemed to go by so slow. I remember details about what I did...I remember things that went on in the news...and yet now that it is January...2011 flew by. My baby is almost 2 1/2.

Not to mention people are really getting  a jump on this year for some reason...I was at target picking up diapers yesterday afternoon and they have their entire summer bikini section out already. For Petes sake!! Its January! In Portland! ITS FRIGGIN COLD! Not to mention, who in their right mind wants to put a bikini on (or even think about it!!) after 2 weeks of gorging yourself on holiday food??? Seriously. Stupid merchandising.

So New Years was uneventful as planned. We were going to go to my best friends house to play games and eat, but they all woke up sick new years eve, and we did too so we stayed home and I made dinner and then we put Peepers to bed like normal, then Z played X-Box and I surfed Pinterest all night. That is the only way I made it until midnight. And then the fireworks started. I hate fireworks. They are so obnoxious. Unless you actually go see a show of them then they are just pointless noisemakers.

We trashed out tree last night, the house is slowly getting back to normal. Still a mess however. Started up rehearsals again at the theater so its definetely starting to feel back to normal around here.

I have to figure out where I left off at work now - sorry so short - Ive got end of the year stuff to get done. Happy New Year - its gonna be a good one!!

My hair looks normal now!!

The really harsh part of the black finally washed out and now i have my dark brownish red undertones back! PERFECT!!! So happy... now if it would just grow faster. Im at the stage where I got tired of my short hair so Im growing it back out. I do this...alot. Gotta keep it changed up, right? lol

Sooo I tried doing pin curls last night....its twisting your hair and pinning it overnight so in the morning you have heatless beautiful curls...this technique works GREAT on long hair..i used to do it all the time years ago. Not so much with short choppy layers. I officially had a fro this morning. And then I immediately got me hence to the shower to subdue the abomination. It sucks tho...my hair is at the length where it doesnt do crapola.

I cant believe today is December 30th. Tomorrow is New Years Eve. Crazy. New Years was never a big deal to me. I think I was scarred for life as a kid - my parents were so old school we'd go bang pots and pans on the driveway. Correction*** my parents would bang pots and pans on the driveway. My sister was so little she joined in because she liked making noise anywho. I stood there in the dark with my wooden spoon and saucepan by my side turning 80 shades of red thinking that the entire class at Lincoln was going to know that I was the one making all the noise. (I was ridiculously shy up until about highschool...even then I had a hard time getting up to turn my  homework in..) Anywho, I enjoyed the food and the games we had before the clock struck midnight... and then after I got married we would go every year to a family friends house for a new years get together which was always so fun!! And man the food was good. AND....all you had to do when the clock struck 12 was kiss your spouse. Now THAT I can do!! (over, and over and over again ;)

This year we are at home...and I think I might make tacos. And say a prayer for the coming year. And then pass out at 10pm. I wonder if I get Monday off??? Gosh that would be nice. I love paid days off. Although since the dang holiday is on a weekend, I am thinking that I may have to be at work. Hmmmm.....

I am now a full fledged Pinterest addict. I can't get off that site. I have found my motivation for decorating Peepers room from it... and soo much more. You really gotta check it out. I cant stop. And there are so many people on it that there are new things updated every time you refresh the page. Its like crack. Ok, maybe not exactly - wouldn't really know since I've never done crack...all I know is that its the best site EVER!

It is Friday and I have the case of the Fridays...I would like a cup of coffee...a breakfast burrito...then I'd like to go to Joann's and go shopping. If anyone ever needs gift ideas for me, a gift card to Joann's would be awesome. I just wanna get my craft on today. My kitchen table is even cleared off so I could if I wanted to.

Still on the fence about resolutions for the New Year... I tend to prefer Monthy Resolutions...we'll see.. I tend to actually get through the monthy ones...

Ok....back to work...later..

My how time flies...

Oh do please join me for a cup of tea while you read...

I just looked at the other blog I have that was basically a picture and video site for Peepers so family could be in the loop...my baby is so big!! WAAAAAAHHHHH..... There were picture of him so small he fit so snuggly into my arms...now he comes up to my belly button and his long ol' legs stick out when he's on my lap. He definitely got the Morris body....tall kid with no body fat whatsoever. I do miss that little tiny baby, but I am really liking 2 years old too...

That means I'm getting older too. I turned 26 this last September...not that I think Im old by any means, but I had Peepers at 24...does not seem like 2 years have gone by. So much has happened. There was also pics from right after Z's surgery...chemo was so long ago and yet not that long ago...

I need an island oasis...or a mountain retreat...or something to that effect. I was nice and moopy last night...didnt get to languish in it tho...and then got really irritated with someone too...didnt have a great night, but it didnt turn out too bad. Had a great dinner...Z made snapper with a new marinade and I made steamed broccoli with a white wine/cheddar sauce....it was actually a fondue receipe that called for swiss and gruyere, but I substituted cheddar and then poured it over the broccoli.... Was very very good.

Abs are still slightly sore....I was going to work out again last night but my mood didnt allow for that. By the time Peepers was asleep, I was getting tired. Didnt end up in bed until after 11pm again... but I also didnt get to integrate with my couch and pull my blanket over my head and watch travel shows. Maybe I'll do that tonight...Im not moopy today tho....

I am so happy I have a job now! I am now not a temp anymore!! The only sucky thing about switching onto a different payroll though is the lag time between paychecks. With the temp service I got paid every Wednesday...with this place we get paid on the 5th and the 20th so I have to stretch my earnings from the last temp service check an extra week before I get paid from my new work. Although that does have its benefits - I am getting paid at a higher rate now and that extra week will be added onto my paycheck. So in the end I get more money either way, but oh well. We have food and the bills are paid.

I have decided I dont like green lifesavers. They are gross. So what is the majority in the dang bag??? Green. UGH.... I dont mind sour things too much as long as there is a slightly sweet element to it...these are just plain sour.

I have  alot to do this week. I have to finish up choreo for rehearsal next monday and tuesday...I have to get my curriculum revised for my classes and send a copy to the other dance teacher who is taking over my 6-10 year olds.....I am trying to plan some sort of vacation....for the future....eventually.... trying to decide how many European countries we can comfortably fit into 2 weeks...I am taking Z to Europe before we die - that is one of my main goals in life. I wish everyone was required to take a sabbatical to a foreign country right after highschool - defininetly gives you a broader perspective of life and also makes you think big - there is a whole world out there with new places and new foods and new people - really expands your horizons and forces you to think outside the normal restraints of the mind you grew up with. I fully plan on retiring there.

I am hungry. I had yogurt and tea...no wonder... I walked to work so I cant run to McDonalds across the street, and I havent stocked the fridge or the pantry at work because no one was here for the holidays...next week I'll restock, but for now I just have a mishmash of things. I have 2 hard boiled eggs...hmmmm.....I'd really prefer sausage links.

Oh well...only 2 hours until lunch. I feel like going to Target. Im not sure why or what for... I just feel like purusing I guess. Although I know that if I do that then I will have to buy somehting which means I have to wait until next week when I get paid. Oh well.

Alrighty - back to reconciling. Have to have this stuff to the CPA by the end of Jan...I am so close to being done with the dang mess!!! And best part is that I got the OK to just enter an reconciling discrepancy adjustment so I can start 2012 on a clean slate. I need to get my QB up and running too...for my personal...I should. I think I will for 2012 since I am thinking about it at the beginning of the year.

See you later :)

ugh. i think im trying to get sick.

This is what I would like to be this morning...back in bed.

Not on purpose however....It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. Didnt  help that we move the bed to a different side of the room so we could fit Z's weight bench in the room and I forgot what side i was on so when my alarm went off i turned the wrong way and whacked Z instead. Oops :)

I am glad I got the weight bench for Z... I did incline situps and obliques with a 15 pound weight...felt really good. Gotta keep it up if we plan on maybe getting prego again this year....easier to bounce back when you have rock solid abs...which was the case when i had pierce - I had no pooch whatsoever after having him :)

My parents were awesome and left us the left over prime rib! OMG. Dinner was great last night and of course the night I dont want to share my food - Peepers ended up LOVING it. Little turkey.

I start up rehearsal next week again. I was looking forward to another week off but whatever. Its money in the bank. I just gotta start working on stuff. Luckily the hard choreo I dont have to have done until the 14th.

Gosh Im so tired. I just want to curl up in my blankets and pass out. I think half of my tiredness is my soreness from working out last night. I did really well yesterday - my motivation was so intact that I finished reconciling the main bank acct at work in 8 hours!! Maybe I used up my motivation reserves. Probably didnt help that I got out of bed later than normal and didnt take a shower...

Every night he can Z goes swimming and we took Peepers last night - he had a blast and when we figured out we were going home he threw the biggest, maddest hissy fit ever. Cracked me up! He was so mad at us for taking him away from "simmin" (swimming). Cant stay forever...but just by watching the swim team that was finishing up when we got there, he figured out what to do with your arms when you swim - so cute! Smart little cookie. I just waded in the kiddie pool with him....no way I was puttin my bikini on after 3 days of gorging myself on my dad's cooking. This week is now all about moderation in portion sizes :) hehehe...i dont get my dads cooking much anymore and especially the holiday stuff....you must understand...I HAVE to eat 7 times my normal body way per meal while he is here. There is just no way around it. I mean, how can you refuse seafood linguine (with butter garlic rosemary sauce and shrimp, crab, clams and scallops) and beer baked salmon with homemade garlic herb bread??? We never eat pasta at our house because we use the Japanese noodles instead so to me, just a bowl of straight linguine is awesome.

GREAT. Now I am hungry. Dangit - 2.5 hours til lunch. I am going to go make some tea. Ta ta for now!!

Back to the grind..

Well my wonderful holiday is over and I'm back at work. My parents and sister left this morning :( I always hate it when they leave..its so nice to have them visit. I think I prefer it this way though because I really enjoy their company rather than having them right up the road and never seeing them like it used to be.

Now I have to get my brain back in gear for finishing up the end of year accounting and taxes and stuff. I have until end of January to get the books to the CPA, but I think I may just call it good here this week. We are off about $4000 and so far it looks like it is stemming from 2010 when the lady who was before me was doing the books. I am not going back through the books that far so I may as well just make a reconciliation discrepancy so I can start fresh for 2012.

I had such a great do-nothing day yesterday. We ate, we sat, we went to Walmart and Craft Warehouse, we watched movies, we ate more...I was really half tempted to do it again today (aside from the fact that I had to work today.) I get really used to days off. Ever since I was laid off from Kiewit and just worked at the theater I got really used to sleeping in and just hanging out with my boys all day long. So now that I am working full time I tend to get really comfy on my days off. Which then is hard to shake the next day when I actually have to get dressed.

I cant believe that 2012 is a week away. I remember being in about 5th grade trying to figure out what age I would be in 2015...it seemed so far away and now is only 3 years away. I'll be 30. Huh. That will be a weird milestone..I do enjoy getting older, but 30 still seems so far away.

Ok, I am going to start my day now...happy tuesday! :)

Can it be??? No...well...maybe...

Is it possible that I am starting to get fed up with facebook??? I have not really been on for an entire weekend and now getting on just now, it bored me slightly...

Hmmmm....i have to be on it whether I want to or not since that is the main communication line for my theater...

Sorry....just wierded me out a little that I lost a little interest so quickly...


oh...and i had to use this pic...its been floating around the net for awhile but i just love it  :)

Merry Christmas (a day late)

Good morning! I can say that now at 7am because I have some caffeine in me. Peepers decided 5am was a good time to get up. So we watched Little Einsteins 3 times, 30 minutes of the 1986 Transformers movie and then 5 episodes of Pocoyo. Well...Merry Christmas!

I had a WONDERFUL christmas. Here I thought that it just wouldnt be the same since we werent at my parents house and stuff, but it was absolutley great. My family arrived the afternoon of Christmas eve and we kicked teh evening off with seafood linguine and baked salmon with herb butter bread...ate way too much of that but honestly I coudnt stop. Looking forward to ahving it for lunch today.  Pierce had (and is still having)  a blast with Gramma and Pop-Pop. He ended up in bed about 8-ish which is normal, but then woke up at 1am.. he is sleeping in our room so my parents can have a place to sleep, which hasnt afforded me ANY sleep this weekend.. but Zac was able to get him to go back to sleep in MY spot on MY bed..so I was displaced to the couch. Which I actually slept fairly well on considering. So all us adults were up about 8am...peepers woke up at 11am. I dont think that he has really put it together about all this Santa Claus and Jesus business but he sure does know that good things come from presents!!! He had no problem tearing into his gifts once we told him they were for him. He made out like a bandit - a couple race car tracks, some bath toys, a lot of clothes and a monster truck tent. I made out well too :) Zac got me the softest robe in the world that is the best color in the world - jewel tone blue. : D   He also got me a lot of Burts Bees stuff, the hair appliance I wanted...We had such a wonderful christmas morning. It is WAY more fun watching Peepers open his gifts than to be the kid...

That afternoon we all got ready for the day and took the fam to Moulton falls up in Yacolt and went for a day hike around to the waterfalls - the sky cleared up for just long enough from when we got there to when we decided to leave. Was perfect. Then we came home and dad made Mexican food (OMG.) and we rented the first Sherlock Holmes (VERY GOOD. and Im not a big movie person) and then for dessert we watched Dracula Dead and Loving It. We must have worn Zac out because he was the first person to pass out during the movie. (not normal for him..ESPECIALLY during a movie)

And now it is today... 5am wakeup call....but that is ok... Peepers is so cute and cuddly that early. Dad is making prime rib today - so excited! I told zac I am gorging myself from Saturday to Today on all the food that dad is making and then come Tuesday I will be back to eating correctly. Or mostly anyways (hee hee)

I do apologize for the shortness of the post today...my brain is kindof shorting out this morning (need more caffeine)

Merry Christmas!!

Randoms.

I have black hair. Was going for dark dark brown. But its black. I have a very very happy husband because of this. He has been badgering me since senior year in HS to go back to black. Back then, I looked like death-meets-anorexic-gothic-crackwhore. Happy to say that now since I eat regualrly and keep up on my hair cuts and have very healthy hair I actually am pulling this off. Still getting used to it however...it is still REALLY DARK!!! I feel like I need to be a jazz singer in Portland right now...

I think I need to lay off the caffeine. I noticed that since i started drinking it again every morning my anxiety has been coming back. Dang. That sucks. O well. I will choose sleepiness over anxiety any day. And its horrible...I am anxious over nothing at all for no reason. Stupid.

Christmas eve is tomorrow. Family comes in tomorrow. I have to have my house clean tomorrow. This is all coming up so fast. Oye.

I think I have all my presents accounted for...I hope anyways. Well, still have to get Pierce some things tonight, but then im done. And then I am going to soak for an hour in a hot bubble bath and read.

I dont know what to do with myself right now. Stupid caffeine. I hate this "end-of-the-world" feeling. Such disparity.

I decided that in lieu of the Christmas and the new year... here is a list of things I am thankful for:

-a husband and son that make life absolutley beyond wonderful.
- a job that I like that affords a warm apartments
- 2 bedroom apartments!!!
- comfort food.
- a hobby job that lets me do what I love
- clean laundry
-cozy sweats
-a car that works that doent suck up my paycheck
-the raise I just got :)
- good tea.

I wish it was tradition here to have tea time...its such a nice break...Yes I observe the british tea times...only at work tho... Im never that scheduled at home..besides my saturdays are taken up completely with rehearsal. Maybe I will go have a cup of chammomile right now... Tea always seems to help my panic attacks.

I am so excited to make Baklava!! It is sooo good. I love the dessert that comes out of the middle east...so far its about the only good thing that came out of that region aside from Turkish coffee...I am craving Thai food from the restaurant in France that I went to. Where I lived was a very high population of Thai's and Laosians and HOLY MOLY THEY MAKE GOOD FOOD!!!!! I do remember the next two days I was completley swollen from all the salt and oil...but it was so worth it. I remember almost every dish had a thick layer of oil on the top..OMG. I am dying just thinking about it. Just another perk of living in Europe :)

I  miss Europe. I miss the food. I miss the laid back work weeks. I miss the public transportation. I especially miss the food. But oh well... I found when I was over there I was missing a few comfort foods that you can only get in America. But holy cow I remember I went to this 24-7 dance club over there, each room was a different theme with different style of music and lighting...had to be about 30 rooms... and one room was the dining room and it was BBQ only... I had BBQ'd duck french-style. I died and went to heaven. Twice. I dont think I have ever enjoyed BBQ as much as I did that night.

I cant find the dang tea box. Irritating.

I really want to go back to bed. I need a nap already. I may be back later....for now I have to go back to reconciling a bank acct. See you!

huh.

IM BACK! Well after much deliberation, (and seeing that my last post was in APRIL) I have decided to come back to the world of blogging. A lot has happened in the past 8 months. Here's a vague breakdown of the big stuff:



-The lady that we lived with in the mountains went nuts so we moved.
-Peepers is now 2. And TONS of fun.
-We moved back to Vancouver.
-I still work at the theater, but went back to work full time.
-We moved across the parking lot from my work into a 1 bedroom in May (total coincidence..great commute!)
-We had to give our kitties to a ranch. :'(
-We moved into our first 2 bedroom apt in November.
-Its now 3 days until Christmas.
-Oh ya...starting next week, I got a raise : D

It has been busy, but most of that is trying to juggle my time between the theater, home and a 40 hour work week. Which actually has been doing ok. I have had to cut some hours from the theater, but its ok. Right now I am choreographing for the next show we are doing "Anything Goes"...our creative director is pretty starry-eyed over the Sutton Foster revival of the show that happened this year so that is why we are doing it. I still have a few classes.

Z is still a stay at home dad, having fun from what he tells me. Peepers is having a mass amount of fun now that he is figuring life out. We've discovered play-doh and Transformers. He also discovered jumping, which is not really ideal for people living on the 2nd floor of an apartment building...so we decided to get him a little baby trampoline with a handle. I found one in the city for $10 so we decided to go get it. We figured we'd just shove it in the car and Peepers wouldnt know what it was anywho, so we could still give it to him for Christmas. Weeelllll....he knew darn well what it was and the entire 40 minute drive in traffic all we heard was "MOMMA!! JUMP IT!! MOMMA!! PEEEEEAAASS???? MOMMMMMMA!!!" amisdt frustrated crying. So he got an early gift. He hasn't been off of it since.

Z has graduated from computer MMORPGS to the Xbox. Much more family interactive. And I may learn how to play. I tried for a few minutes and was able to turn around so that is a plus....I was HORRENDOUS at WoW cuz I could never turn around with out making a huge circle and then I'd die.

My parents are coming up on Saturday for Christmas...very happy about that. Since I started my job I dont have any time off so we cant go to their house like normal for the holidays. Looking forward to Dad's cooking. I just have to prep stuff for seafood buffet Christmas eve...

As I get older, Christmas just isnt as fun as it used to be...I dont know if this year I'm just hum-bugging or what, but I cant seem to get into the normal spirit of things. May have something to do with that were not at my parents. Christmas throws up at their house. Up here, we finally got our tree last week and bolted it to the wall because everyone was out of tree stands. I think I may get into it a little more once my family arrives. Ive been a little down lately with some anxiety and I dont know why. Grrr...apparently blogging helps. Im starting to feel better.

I have got a ton to do before 3pm on Saturday... we have to go food shopping, do our mass amounts of laundry that we've been putting off, finish cleaning the house, prep the seafood, make baklava and cookies...lucky for me I have a husband who will be by my side helping. And I am off from the theater until after New Years. And once Dad gets here I jsut get to sit back.

Z asked me what I want for Christmas. My problem is that everything I want is either really cheap, like I could just go get it for myself at any point, or it is really expensive - like LASIC eye surgery. I really have no real need for anything else...I would love some newer clothes, but then I would rather use the money to buy stuff for Z or Peepers.

I really wish I could find my MP3 player... I've amassed enough iTunes songs to actually warrant using the dang thing now. Before I had like, 3 songs...So I put it away... but now....hmmm...I may have an idea of where it is, but I think that I would have to move 4 huge snow tires out of the way to look for them. Sounds like a job for Z.

I am feeling a bit better. I think I am back to blogging now. I forgot how much I enjoy it :) ok, until tomorrow then!

Merry Christmas!

Is it naptime yet?

Betchoo thought I forgatz aboutchas huh?? Well I didnt. It's been slightly busy here, I finished up my fisrt show with Metropolitan and am now working on second semester stuff.

We're trying to move closer to my work. We love living out here, but the house we live in is up for sale and that means that we have to keep the damn house staged at all times. Yeeeaaahh...really easy with a toddler. Not to mention that with gas prices getting so high, my commute is getting expensive. We applied a week or so ago to a place but didnt get my employment verification in time so we have to reapply. I have to call the lady today. And is it just me or does every single person who runs apartment buildings seem bitchy?? I dont understand. If you want people to move in then why on earth would you come across as mean??? Whatever.

Otherwise its just been rainy as all get out and really pretty cold. We had a few days where it waas about 70 degrees in town - REALLY nice change!! We went out and actually went to the park and played outside and
enjoyed doing soemthing other than staying inside. That is something we are looking forward to with moving back into town. Up here it rains 3x as much as in the valley so it when it drizzles in town, we get a deluge. We had a sinkhole in our front yard for a month. We actually get more rain than Sitka.

I am tired today. Yesterdays classes were hard to teach - I had a migraine by the end. It was so dang hot on the stage and it just wansnt my best night. I didnt get to sleep very quick either but woke up too early. Maybe a nap is in order :)

Ok I am getting the "you need to call the apartment lady now" look. I'll see yas later

So what happened to February???

So apparently I missed February compeltely. I havent blogged since January 26th and I can still remember quite clearly that day that I did sit down to type. Huh.

Well March has started out quite tumultuous - right now I am sitting in the Redmond Oregon airport (if you can call it that..) waiting for my connecting flight in to Portland. I originally left last thursday to go to San Fransisco for my grampas funeral and now I am waiting and wating. And Redmond is pisisng me off right now because they dont believe in pay phones and the only other place here is a coffe shop that doesnt have a phone so I had to get on verizon text to get a text out to my sister to call zac about picking me up. PAIN IN MY ARSE. And no, I don't have a cell phone..we have a trac phone for emergencies because we from our house by the time we actually get cell service I am already at the place I need to be. Pointless. And I forgot to add minutes to the phone before I left so I left it at home. I love the internet though - happy i have my little lifesaving and work saving netbook.

I have 20 minutes until I fly out YAY!! I should be working on my midterm but I dont really feel like it right now. This time change thing is really screwing with me.

I'll come back later to this to tell about the trip - figure i'd better walk down to my gate (again...if you can call it that.) its more like a seating area. Still, not as tiny as Pullman. this place at least has a coffee shop.

One short day, in the Emerald City.....

So it was a whopping 55 degrees today...I had to look at my calendar to remind myself that it is indeed still January... we still had a fire for the sole purpose of me being a weenie muffin.

I'm prepping for Pinocchio auditions tomorrow, Friday and Sat...gonna be a long 3 days. Callbacks dont end until 7pm on Sat. Looking forward to starting this show.

Have kind of a scare at home going on right now, one of the ladies that lives below us is in the hospital right now with a 2nd case of Diverticulitis...they are draining the colon right now and she will have to have surgery. Praying for her to heal swiftly and to change her eating and drinking and smoking habits after this round - all this is due to her drug use and her eating and drinking habits. But she is still Auntie Bev, so I am praying for God to do His will and that His will might be how I would like it... but I won't argue with God.

Otherwise I am not sure anything much out of the ordinary has happened. I found out a girl I knew in high school was on the Nate Berkus show.. she looks nicer than she did in high school. I guess her and her husband had to move to Manhattan for his job and their apartment is only 600 sqft, 400 of which is the kitchen and bathroom. I'm slightly surprised given the fact that she was a hardcore Mormon that they don't have kids yet. (I'm not stereotyping, am I? hehe)

Made impeccable sushi tonight. Actually took the time to make the rice correctly this time and man what a difference! It was just like the sushi bar. I made a ton because usually Zac has about 7 entire rolls to himself... he started in too quick though and only ate about 6 pieces so now we have a ton of sushi for tomorrow. Not bad though.. we were going to take it to Dougan Falls today, but Peepers decided to take a five hour nap so that idea was shot.

Ya know who fascinates me? The Duggars and I don't know why. I love their show but I have no clue why. Now Barefoot Contessa - I know why I like that one... she makes such amazing dishes. I love her! As you can see I have been chillin a little too much this past couple weeks.

Finally cleaned out the car... 90% was trash. Big surprise there... feels good, smells awful. I still have to go get the upholstery cleaned from Peepers little up-chuck show on the way back from Idaho. I did the best I could and there is baking soda all over the back seat, but the Lysol air freshener decided to roll under something that made it spray continuously unbeknownst to me. So now my car smells like a smoking room at a Motel 6. Lovely. Makes me want to re-enact the puking scene from "my drive home from Idaho with a flu-ish 16 month old".

Speaking of, Peepers is only 2 weeks from being 18 months! My baby is a year and a half!!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this age. He is so much dang fun it makes me sick. Not to mention that in 2 weeks, he gets to go to nursery at church now. I'm slightly estatic and slightly ready to bawl my eyes out at the same time. No wonder people have a dozen kids. I wish I could keep him at this age..

Ok signing off for the night - ice cream is calling my name and I have to get there before Zac does or else I will be stuck with carrots and ranch or something that isn't nearly as decadent.

Good morning

Oh what a glorious morning!! Peepers slept until 9:30 and hubs got up with him! I slept until 10:30! I feel great.
Helps I  am not sick anymore :)

So can I just say that I love love love my job? I dont even call it a job. All I do is teach dance and its amazing. I can't believe I am so lucky to get paid for doing what I love. And the kids are great. So is the director. I really hate having days off because I love dancing so much. Auditions for Pinocchio are next week - gotta get my material ready for the audition process - I'm auditioning for the dance parts and then collaborating with the vocal director and the acting director on who should be where. Excited! Oh!!! and we just got a grant to do Meet Me In St. Louis this year - one of my all time faves. Can't wait.

So on an awesome note - after that fever I had with Scarlet Fever, it burned the hell out of my body and burned up the infection on my face that was causing me to break out. I now finally have the skin I did before pregnancy. Really sucked not feeling remotley attractive for the past year.

We have had some weird weather here lately - we got about 8 inches of rain in 36 hours last week, then its been about 50 degrees and drizzly and now it is dry but only about 30 degrees. I love my fireplace.

I have the day off today - which means dishes, cleaning the living room, and perhaps cleaning out the car from the trip to Idaho. We were all too sick to really feel up to it so today I think I might take some initiative.

Took Peepers to church with me last Sunday for the first time in a long time. He was an absolute peach. Just sat in his own chair munching rice cakes the entire time. We made it to gospel doctrines and about 30 minutes in the bishop came and pulled out all the men saying that the river was flooding in town and people houses were flooding. Then about 10 minutes into relief society he came in again and said that church was cancelled and anyone who was able to help sandbag needed to go help. I couldn't of course since I had Peepers with me, but it was so crazy. Driving from church I saw part of the river that was at least 15 feet wider than it had been normally. I have to cross a bridge to go home over the river and the water was almost up to the bottom of the bridge. Not to mention there was a giant tree floating down. Oh and the Washington crazies who like to kayak that crap, there was so many of them!...I swear it was over class 5 rapids. People are so nuts.

Well I think that is it for now, dishes await but I am not sure if I have anything else to say. Have a great day!

Way to start the new year #1 - Scarlet Fever.

Well happy new year! Its 2011 ( somehow )... Seems like only the other day I was in highschool in 2001. I'm old. Zac and I always comment on how young all the highschoolers look these days...well...we went through our old yearbooks the other day and realized that kids aren't getting younger. We're getting older. And it is nice.
Life just gets more peaceful the older you get.

We all just got over being sick again. Peepers relapsed into the flu and now just has a little runny nose. (praise the Lord!) I ended up with Scarlet Fever and somehow didn't die. I didn't go to the doctor so I am almost amazed that I am ok. My tongue still hurts though and it is still red. And hubs got a sore throat and that was it. I am soooo over being sick!!!

This is going to be a short post, I have a husband to attend to as of now. Looking forward to making fudge tomorrow :) I'll be back.

Take the damn M&M's away from me now. Please.

Hello once more. Technical issues had arisen this past little bit so everything I wrote was not saved. O well.

We made it through Christmas - was nice. I've been digging my nose into the Little House on the Prairie books the past couple days and boy has it sparked my day dreams!!! Back then to own land, all you had to do was ask the government for a plot and then sustain your self for 5 years on it to prove to the government that you could hack it and then the title was yours. How freaking wonderful would that be???

I've really been wishing that it was 1870 or so - Have your own claim, work hard to make your land fruitful, owe nothing to anyone and be oh so much more responsible at a younger age. Laura Ingalls got married at18, but was already teaching school by the time she was 15. I am getting a wandering twitch to find somewhere like that where we were self sufficient. I realize that there were hard times and I am daydreaming about the good ones - not accounting for storms or crop failure...still. I just hate feeling so overwhelmed at everyday life of the expectations the world has put on us. We are so inundated with "new" things that we just have to have, who has the better car, who makes more, etc. Sometimes I really don't think I would mind being an 1870's housewife...I had a wierd dream the other night, that some fundamentalist was elected president, but he had absolute power. And the first law he gave was that every car be destroyed and replaced with horses or oxen and buggys or cutters and that the only clothing style allowed was that of the 1800's. (Keep in mind this dream was before I started reading the books.)

So now for something completely different... I am staying up late again tonight. Zac is out with the boys somewhere and I am the only one up. Well, not holed up in my bedroom purusing Facebook. (that would be my sister.) Stole a jalepeno cheeto from her...mucho good-o.

I really dont have anything good to say, I'm just rambling like every other post I have written. I am in limbo on the anxiety level - I just cant seem to make up my mind whether or not to have full blown anxiety or be fine. It is like the fine line on getting a cold when your immune system cant decide whether or not to catch it. I wish I would hurry up and eitherbe fine or just lapse into a full blown panic attack. Sheesh. The decisions I have to make.

Peepers made out like a bandit for Christmas - mostly much needed clothes. I got two pairs of slippers and jammies and a whole bunch of other stuff and Zac was spoiled with woodworking tools. Ugh...I have been staying up waaaaaaay too late while on vacation. It is wearing me down. Yesterday night I was actually in bed at 10pm but my sister kept me up until 2am. I will be very happy to be in my own quiet bed again.

Went to the wood carving store the other day with mom, panini and zac... Zac about had a coronary when we walked in. Then Zac was hungry and there was a littly Gyro hut in the parking lot. Was horrible. Too much curry. Pita Pit will always rule for gyros. The best are when you are actually in Europe, but Pita Pit is the next best thing I guess. I tend to go more for the tzatziki sauce than anything else. Bring on the tzatziki!!

Been thinking how wierd it is to be an American. We as a country have no traditional costume, no traditional foods that actually started in this country, no traditional customs that started in this country.... Look at places like Hungry or Slovakia or even Norway - they all have those things because they are all the same kind of people. Here we are a mutt country. I guess that is what some people think is so great about America, that our national costume is every costume of the world. The only thing we have is the National Anthem. Oh and I read the declaration of independece today... I'm not sure why we still have it...America is nothing like what is outlined in the document. Made me quite sad because the original country sounded lovely. (as you can see deep thoughts have been plaguing me..)

Wish I had a time machine. I would love love love to see what life was like back in any era. I think I would go to 1100 ad first. England because it was a little more settled as in "not-so-roman"...just to see the dresses and the way life really was. Its hard for me to think that we actually know so much about those times and sometimes wonder who is embellishing the details. The next stop would be the dark ages... then the 1700's france and germany. O hell, I'd go everywhere. I would like to experience even a little of the life of history. I dont think I would go to biblical times or before that... that era just doesnt hold any interest for me. Actually come to think of it, that part of the world doesnt hold much interest for me. O well. But if I had a time machine I think I would just have it so that I was invisible to the people there so I would not alter history. That could be bad...I've seen movies :)

All of Zacs family was sick today - I know Zac wont get sick, I probably wont but I am really hoping Peepers doesnt get sick. Especially on the day that we are supposed to drive home. Hope the weather is good.

Oye. Ring you blasted phone! That I may drive forth and retrieve yon husband then retire to my bedside to sleep and awaken to a new morning. (thats about as Shakespearian I can get tonight.) I found my dad's old works of Shakespeare book (1000+ pages!). I remember as a girl I'd read through that book like my life depended on it. I like Shakespeare. He was really a funny guy if you understand dry, british, medival humor...and some humor there isnt that hard to understand either. It is like Chaucer's Canterbury Tales - its a riot if you can understand the way they talk!! One of my favorite books.

According to the weather lyers reporters, we are supposed to get 6 inches of snow overnight here in the Treasure Valley. This coming to us from the same people who brought us the news that a huge storm front was coming right on top of us monday night...Its been over 40 degrees this past week as a high. Seriously doubting the snow.

I remember why I like blogging so much - it is a fast way for me to yak on and on about my thoughts and then that way I feel like I already told someone what I was thinking so then I stop talking so dang much. Theraputic too..helps anxiety a little.

Pretty excited to go to work on the 3rd!! I finally am back in the dance world and I get to work with one of my best friends! I got my tap shoes and jazz shoes - have to order my grecians, but that wont take long. I am curious to see who I am teaching. At Kennedy's I used to teach girls that I watched grow up so I knew what they were capable of... These are new girls (and boys) (and adults) so we'll see. Uber stoked.

So I was looking thorugh good ol' facebook this evening to pass the time - looked at all the people from highshcol that had profiles. Really interesting to note that the people who looked like dumb bimbos back then still do today. And it is interesting to see who got married to who and how on earth did that happen??

I feel like I am getting slightly delirious...hellllloooo 12:23am!! But alas I have nothing better to do right now. Well, I guess I'll leave off here so I dont end up writing a russian novel.

We made it to Idaho!

Well we got through the 8 hour trip over the cascades and the blue mountains without incident. Peepers was a total angel the entire time - slept for half of it. It was way icy but that littel car handled it jsut fine. Good investment.

It is nice to be "home". I love my parents house - especially around the holidays. Its so fun and its great seeing them again. It is so nice to have both sets of parents in the same town. We dont have to decide who were goin to see on what holiday. Peepers and I are home based at my parents and hubs is being a transient between places.

It is finally starting to feel more like Christmas. We decorated the tree today - late for us, but better than never right?? Its snowing here, nice change. But I still hate Idaho snow. Its dirty.

I'm pretty darn tired. I am starting to relax now that I have some time on my hands. Peepers is loving all the grandparent attention he is getting.

I still have to figure out christmas presents. Have a feeling everyone is getting homemade rice-hot packs. Well this post is cut short - I have to go meet hubs now... I'll finish this up tomorrow.

Lazy Tuesday???

My days really fly now. I dont have any sense of time anymore. I bought a calendar but if it werent for my computer telling me what day it was I'd be screwed. January cant come soon enough. I start bringing in an income again. Some days I wonder what it would be like to be priveleged. Like Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump. What do they worry about? What designer handbag goes with the designer shoes they're wearing? I'm sure they dont worry about where the next truck payment is going to come from, or how to budget so you still have gas money to get to the grocery store. I've always wondered why I wasnt born into that kind of life. Perhaps it was to keep me humble? Hmmm... well, looks like I'll have to make my own life of priveliedge. Etsy here I come!

What age do kids stop taking naps? Pierce is getting harder and harder to put down for a nap. It doesnt help that Zac had to use the bathroom really bad - which requires one to walk through Pierces bedroom (aka laundry room) - only 20 minutes after I put him down. So we got him up for a bit and gave him some green olives and put him back down - I can still hear him.

I'm speculating on whether or not I'm prego right now... I dont have any of the signs I remember, but my top half is excessivly sore. Maybe just a horrible PMS symptom. Were not trying right now, but if I were to be prego we'd welcome it.

Ever have anxiety about something that needs to be done? So much so that you freeze and dont do it? This is something that I am trying to overcome. I have a very important thing to do, but I cant un-freeze to do it. I dont know why. And it's just a phone call away. I just can't do it. Any ideas?

Was finally going to be able to get to church las Sunday - got sick instead. I got pounded with a head cold. I'm starting to feel better but still not 100%.

We started trying out the Eat Right for Your Blood Type Diet - oh I feel so good!!! I'm Type O therefore I flourish on meat and seafood. Type O is the most common in the world - its no wonder the Atkins and South Beach Diet worked so well for most of America, they are high protien low carb diets which is perfect for Type O's. And I'll bet you anything that it was the Type A people who were the ones touting it. They are the ones who can't digest meat at all - therefore it wouldnt work. If you get a chance to read that book I highly reccomend it!!! I've known about it for awhile, I just never tried it. Already have lost weight.

I feel like I'm missing something by not going to work. It feels like I'm lazing my days away and not providing any use of myself. I know that will change come January, but for now I feel jsut about useless. I get coming down off of amost 10 years of 8-5 workdays plus commute is like having cigarette withdrawals. (i'm guessing, Ive never had cigarette withdrawals.)

I want to take naps but I cant- I cant relax fully yet so I end up just laying there contemplating life and getting myself in a horrible mood.

I've really got to start getting to choreographing - I started but my stupid headcold is inhibiting me from doing any sudden movements. I think by tomorrow I will be ok. I need an office. I just need a room that is my space wehre I can get business done with no interruptions. Right now my office is in our loft which is serving as our bedroom while the weather is freezing. The loft also happens to look over the living room and kitchen so there is no privacy and no quiet. I'd use the other bedroom aside from the fact that it averages about 10 degrees warmer that whatever it is outside. So roughly 22-40 degrees fahrenheit. I suppose I will suffer the noise.

Had our ward Christmas party last Friday - was one of the nicest I've been to. Thankfully the RS pres. is one of my friends and has very good taste so it was a classy and elegant event. No "potluck-ishness" about it and we didnt have to sing the 12 days of Christmas while acting out each day looking like retards. I hated that. That kind of stuff is not fun for me... so dont ask me to do it. Unless you get me reaaaaaaallly drunk.

Well so far thats it for today, I'm moopy and anxious and just really dont know what to do with myself.

Schpoo.

Ugh.... double ugh.... the day before Thanksgiving and I've already eaten my caloric requirements for the next month...uhhhhggg... (pardon me while I puke quick-like)

We are waiting for our food assistance to kick in (dec. 4th) so we are down to some interesting things in the pantry. Tonight we had polish sausage dogs with cheesy baked potatoes and salad and ginger ale. (not a good combination. I repeat... not a good combination. Of course I figure this out in hindsight :)

I have discovered I have a down-turned mouth... none too happy about that but not sure how to fix it, so I suppose I'm not going to care. Gotta wait for boobs until after the last kid, so I guess I'll throw it in the "I'll care about it later" pile. Stoked for a C-cup.

I have my 2 finals on Sunday...Im so very excited to be DONE with my stupid "How to use capitalization" class. Seriously, higher education my rear patoukah.

Poor Peepers is teething somethin awful, 4 at once. The little boo doesnt know what to do with himself and really wont let me put him down. Baths seem to help, maybe it just takes his mind off it. He is a big fan of bubble baths... pretty darn cute.

So tomorrow is Black Friday... yaaay for people with money. We're going... this computer I'm on has developed an attitude and shuts off and restarts and fixes systems and blue screens whenever it damn well pleases. We had it checked out and its cheaper to just buy something new. We found a little notebook computer at Best Buy for $150... SOLD!! Why things like these happen when no solid income is coming in, I dont know, but it will be nice to be able to finish my homework without restarting 12 times. Now I just need a spare $1200 for another bill that needs to be taken care of. Unfortunately you cant win the lottery if you dont play. Boo.

We're spending T day at our relief society president's house, who happens to be a good friend of mine also. I am happy to have been invited... tradition is that we go out to Shari's... when we first moved up here it was Thanksgiving day and nothing other than Shari's was open...thus starting the tradition of giving thanks for diner food and endless fries. This year that was the plan because we had nothing else to stop us, but now that Kiewit is gone, we were just going to probably roast grilled cheese sandwiches, provided my homemade bread actually rose more than 2 millimeters. But I dont have to worry about it and it is nice.

I've decided to start using that dang treadmill that has been staring me down for the past four months...been feeling flabby and probably have been eating more than I should... take example A at the top of this post. Really regretting that choice... was real good at the time..hehe... And then to make things more pukalicious...Zac topped it off with a huge cup of homemade cocoa and a big bowl of ice cream. But of course it doesnt bother Mr. I-have-the-metabolism-of-a-15-year-old. And I gained back fat watching him eat it. I am now preparing for a vicarious sugar coma.

We have a loft in our house that has a 3/4 wall and there is a queen size bed in it. The loft looks over the living room and the fire place and such, so needless to say it gets very warm. Our bedroom, is lovely with wonderful huge windows and our comfy bed and so far has been averaging a balmy 22 degrees. Fahrenheit. Soooo... in the interest of not freezing to death, we moved upstairs. To the hard-ass bed that was about 90 freakin degrees. Celsius. I had the worst nights sleep. My body hurt and I didnt actually get to bed until 3am. I much rather would have been buried under my 15 blankets with my ear flap hat because I sleep soooo much better in my own bed. Oh well. Were trying it again tonight. Zac thinks I just have to get used to it. Puh-leze... give me a cement slab any day...

Oh I think I forgot to mention that the reason I got laid off was because Kiewit was restructuring and my position went **POOF**. But I am happy. I've got clear skin again :)

Okie doke - Ima gonna facebook and then go get some tea and hunker down for the night in the Sahara..

For the Sake of the New...

Welcome to the clean slate. Starting over. I'd like to just start a new blog completely, but the pages behind this post are pretty much my recorded diary of the past 3 years, so it seems silly to get rid of it when I dont really have the means to print it out.

Soooo... long story short.... got laid off from my job last Monday, but ended up with a job as a dance teacher that Friday. There is a dance studio awaiting an owner or at least a part time occupant that I am pursuing...going to talk more details with people this Turkey Day. Thanks be to God, dreams are coming true.

I have never felt so relaxed in my life. Two days after leaving my job, my skin cleared up to how it was in highschool. I sleep so well now. I love having the time with my family as well. Until my job actually starts we are living on state assistance, which will be put to use buying food storage that is sorely needed.

I don't miss my desk jobs. Not at all. All I ever have wanted to do was continue dancing, but had to give that up for supporting my family. And now I can dance until I die! I'm very happy. I am however, going through stress withdrawals. It's coming down off of 7 years of pent up stress... I am wonderful one moment and then the next sometimes I just tear up and cry. Not because I am sad or depressed or anything, just a release I guess. That is the best I can come up with anyways...I just hope it doesn't last long.

The layoff could definitely could have come at a better time for my bills... biting my lip right now for one in particular...so far that is the only stress I have.

We have 6 inches of snow already, it is 11 degrees here and the roads are icy until you hit the snow line. It is amazingly pretty. The deer are everywhere foraging for whats left of the blackberry bushes, the chickens huddle together on the fence, and the cats are slugs on the rug in front of our amazing fireplace.

Peepers is 15 months now, starting to run and talk and just have a grand ol' time getting into things. Wont let me put him down...which I'm totally fine with!!!!!! Hubs is starting up a wood carving business, he finally found something he is amazing at. He is happier than I have ever seen him.

I have discovered that for $1.50 I can get a Jumbo Jack that is twice the size of anything McDonalds and Wendy's has... not that we eat out alot...heck, we live 20 minutes up a mountain from any part of town... but holy cow... for value menu crap, its good crap.

I changed my layout and background. I thought the white was appropriate. Clean Slate. Starting over. That is what I feel like - starting over. Things are so new again, I am looking forward to it!

Good changes.

Well hello again...6 months later....

There has been many a change here... since my last post, we moved to a wonderful little place in the hills, P is running and I lost my job.

I believe my blog is going to take on a different light now that I am relaxed and have time to start anew. It will still be here, just different. I'm different now. I feel like me. Dance is starting to come back to my life now and I am soooooo happy. I was so worried I'd never have my passion again. I will explain later wehn I get things up and running - hopefully this week. I have missed blogging alot! But I never had the time or energy due to the stress of my job. But now that there are changes afoot... I can do whatever I damn well please :)

See you soon!

la la la...

Man-dates = the only time i seem to blog. And yes Zac is out on one.

For starters its hot here. We dont have AC so cold showers are going to start being the norm. I'll go stand around in Winco just to cool off for all I care.

Ive got an almost 11 month old laughting and screaming at me from his crib, where he apparently is laughing at my hair.. So far the only thing worth laughing at at the moment.

Gotta figure something out for dinner... no clue. Last night's dinner was great! Chicken fingers and sweet chili sauce to dip, ranch fries and corn on the cob. Maybe teriyaki tonight.

The phrase "be the change you want to see in your life" has been on my mind lately... I would like a change when it comes to scripture reading and being more spiritual.. its just hard to get started and out of old routines. Doesnt help that its hot. I also want to start getting back on a cleaning schedule. Needs to be done. Were tidy enough usually, but its nice to have things deep cleaned.

I've noticed that it really wears on you sometimes trying to be so positive all the time, w

hen some days you just want to break down and bawl... its not so much anymore, I was sick this whole past week so I feel I am justified in complaining hehehe :)

Work is going well enough, I still really enjoy it. Oh! I am now a proud student at University of Phoenix online. I start July 29th. I think I may indulge myself in a laptop with my pell grant money. I think I deserve it.

Ugh... I gotta go make dinner. Im starving!!! Heres a pic to leave off with.

cant think of anything clever

And once again, I am forced to channel my inner Han Solo...emphasis on the "solo" part. Zac's on a man-date again. This time to go get donuts. Men.

I guess I'm not completely alone...Peepers is with me, we read all his books, danced for about an hour, and now he is just being a ham in his jumperoo. And I am stoked because i found half of the playlist that was on my MP3 player still on my computer!!! (MP3 player doesn't work.)

Pot roast is almost done...excited!!! Although just like men to go get dessert first and spoil their appetites. Contemplating potatoes and gravy...I guess if its just me I may as well!! This date is taking for-ev-ah.

Not much has happened this week...Work has been absolutely insane! But good. Peepers was up all night throwing up... we are pretty sure some of the formula we had was bad... although just like him... he was laughing and giggling all night. He is fine now.. mom got 4 hours of sleep. But for some reason I'm still doing well.

For some reason I want to go to Colorado. I have always wanted to move there...the pretty parts... well, like middle of no where... farm/ranch country.. sorry, Rocky Mountain High is playing in the background...

Some days I just want to up-heave everything I own and go build a cabin in the middle of nowhere and disappear. Live simple like the pioneers. And then other days, I am happy to have some cushy things. I think its when I get stressed is when I just want to move my family to the woods. Dont have to answer to no one. (yes, I know that is grammatically incorrect.)

Im starting school in the fall. (yippee?) I am excited, but at the same time I am kicking myself for not doing it right after highschool. Why was I so dumb after highschool????? O well...live and learn. And I think i'll get more out of college now anyways now that I care about it.

Darn man-dates. They take for freakin ever. Last time they went to IKEA and spent like 2 hours there! Well, not like you can get out of there in 45 minutes... but still.

Do you ever feel like you need reassurance for the stupidest things that you should already know? Im starting to get in that mood. Its like getting a crash off of a confidence high... lasts for awhile and then all the sudden for no good reason your pedestal is kicked out from under you? Hmmm.... s'pose it doesnt help its that time of the month...(sorry for TMI)

Geez. By the time they get back, the crock pot will have eaten the roast!! Sigh...boredom thy name is Han Solo. And it sucks a wee bit too because Im not much of a movie person, so I cant just sit and watch something I've already seen unless its like, Robin Hood Men in Tights. OOHH! I watched Robin Hood Prince of Theives for the first time the other night... I cant take it seriously!! Men in Tights parodied it soooo much I can only laugh through the entire thing!! Made Men in Tights much better tho :)

Man, can I just say I love James Taylor and John Denver? I love their music. I love the old music, by that I mean from 1960's-2000. After that, Im not sure what happened. 90's music I have good memories of... 7th and 8th grade making tapes off the radio of the "hot 9 at 9" playlist on Magic 93.1...I still have one tape lol... No Doubt reminds me of Cecelia...

I do enjoy a few new songs....but their just not the same.

ok...im gonna go get into my pot roast now.

hewwwo

Its been pouring allllllll week. And I've been loving every second of it. See.. Im not a fan of the sun. Why? Because I'm DEATHLY pale. And I burn even with 50 spf sunscreen. Which is what happened at rehearsal last saturday on the top of a treeless hill for 6 hours. I never knew "sun poisoning" existed before then. I was so sick and my face was swollen up so bad i had to take 2 days off of work! I am at the itchy stage now, oh and peely too.

Hubs is on a man-date with a friend tonight...his wife was having "girls night in" so he had to get out. He called zac and asked if he wanted to go get dinner and a movie..I asked Zac if he was going to do some pushups before he got picked up...(hehehehe....im such a nice gal...)

So tonight its just me and squee. Im uploading pics to my other blog and thinking about making peanut butter m&m cookies... ever had those M&M's??? BEST EVAH! Mainly because hubs doesnt like them...more, well... all for me! :)

Work has been going well, Im still exhausted, but was starting to recover until I got knocked down again by the sun.

Squee should be asleep right now...he's talking to his plastic cow in his bed right now. Its so cute! Ok, well I'm going to go make cookies...I cant wait any longer...

random-chemo-busy-week

Well we are in full swing of Chemo right now. Thankfully Zac only had to get one dose, but it still takes about 3 weeks for him to start feeling back to normal. So far he is feeling like crapola. Which is why i havent been on for a week.

We are taking a trip to California this Memorial day to see my Grandparents. My grandpa has had some health problems so we thought that since i have some vacay days, why not go down??

They havent seen little guy yet.

We didnt go to church today...Zac wasnt feeling well at all. He had a good day yesterday, we went out for a walk and stuff, but today that reversed. And next week he cant really leave the house at all because the second week of a chemo treatment is the time that your immune system is the lowest.

So basically that's been my week. I finally got some sleep yesterday only because it was saturday. I had rehearsal for the play i am choreographing for last saturday, so that meant no sleeping in, Sunday was church and then we went hiking, monday i had rehearsal, tuesday zac had chemo, wednesday I worked then came home and cleaned (no sleep tues and wed nights) thurs I had rehearsal and friday I had visiting teaching. Crazy hellish week.

The play im teaching is getting to be more fun. We are doing the Pajama Game...which in my opinion is one of the dumbest plays ever.... well, the songs are... and ya know what? Its actually pretty fun once you start dancing to them. I work for a childrens' theater and the kids are just great. I'd love a chance to do adult theater though. That'd be fun too.

I have to go to the store today...poo. I just looked in the cabinet and realized that i only have 1/4 can of baby formula left. grrr.

Anna at Hope Road ( I love her posts..) is the second blogger to do a V-log introduction/post which is making me think I should hop on the band wagon, but so far as i know, the only people that i know read this thing are the people I see every sunday anyways... if anyone else reads this...let me know... I lost my counter when i changed my template.

We just signed up for netflix today... actually about 7am this morning. Zac apparently woke up promptly and decided we needed it. ( I was still asleep when this happened) anywho... i am a HUGE travel junkie and I love the Rick Steve's travel shows...and holy crap they have so many more than HULU!!! Waaahhhooo! Nothing more relaxing (other than a massage, facial, massage and massage with accompanying chocolate) than coming home from work, making a pot of tea and escaping to Europe. I miss it over there. I will go back there before I die. And nowadays its so easy to do it on pretty much a whim... so far money is the only thing holding us back. Still want to move there. Permanently. But like I said... and I do enjoy my life here too. I just want Zac and my kids to experience AMAZING food, people and history like I was able to.

Well... I think that covers it...I've got to get to the store before little one wakes up and decides he's hungry. Take care!!

4-23-10

Outside my window…
Its rainy and dark...pretty much bedtime.

I am thinking…
really, about going to bed and wondering why my allergies just started up. its been such a long day, i even missed my meeting with the producer of the play i choreograph for! I'm ready (almost) for saturday.

I am thankful for…
A wonderful home and family to come home to. Its so nice to just come home and be able to relax.

From the kitchen…
lol i had chips and guacamole for dinner. There was no creativity going on tonight.

I am wearing…
sweats and a red shirt.

I am creating…
a disaster.

I am going…
to not think about anything tonight. blank slate. pretend im in a cozy cabin in the swiss alps during a blizzard.

I am reading…
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Again. Best book ever. Aside from Catherine Called Birdy.

I am hoping…
that this weekend is going to go slllloooooowwwwww.

I am hearing…
my noisy arse computer try to take off for jupiter. freakin dinosaur. i am still thankful however...

Around the house…
oh gosh. disaster-ville. dont even get me started.

One of my favorite things…
big, strong, husband arms.

A few plans for the rest of the week…
work, work out, rehearsal...lather, rinse, repeat...

I'm baaaaaackk.....again :)

I'm back in the bloggy mood. As in typing every day or something close to that...not to mention that I finally have my computer at home back. We sold my original computer and zac still had his and my work computer doesn't allow social networking site for more than 10 minutes at a time so Ive had to do other things. not to mention this past month has been insane.

For starters, we found out Zac had testicular cancer and went in for surgery for a nut-ectomy the day-of emergency room visit. (not nerve-wracking at all... ha.) We later found out that the cancer hadn't gotten through the outer layer of the testicle and they got every visible cell! However, he still is going through a shot of Chemo for any microscopic cells that still may be residing in his lymph nodes. But its only a one-time shot of platinum - which somehow someone figured out that platinum is the only thing that kills testicular cancer cells - and he will only be out for a weekend if he even feels the side effects at all. So then that week, mom-in-law and bro-in-law came up to help out for a week so I could go to work, and then Zac and Pierce left with them for Idaho for 10 days. I, thankfully had auditions to run and work to stay late at to keep myself busy until that weekend when i flew into Moscow to meet my parents and my sisters boyfriend to watch her end of year dance performance at the college. That was Saturday, Sunday we drove 6 hours back to Nampa where I reconvened with my hubby and baby, then spent Monday visiting friends until my plane left for Portland that evening. (that was the FASTEST weekend ever.) Then I had two more days until my boys came home.

Zac is doing very well, back to normal now. Still waiting to go through Chemo. He is out on a man-date right now with his friend at REI...I am sitting here contemplating another cup of tea, my furball is sleeping on my lap and I somehow convinced my 8 month old that he was indeed tired and in need of a nap. (hallelujah.)

We all had bronchitis for the past week and a half...over that now, I still have a stupid little residual cough though...which made it fun to sit through 36 hours of Business Managers Meeting last week...but thats ok :) My house is a disaster now.. our normal cleaning routine got creamed by the happenings of this past month. Its definitely getting to be spring time up here. It still rains like it always does in Portland, but its not freezing anymore. And the sun is coming out a little more. Beautiful.

Man I hate apartments. The guy that lives next to us has been re-living the 80-90's since 10am this morning. So far we have listened to Baby Got Back, Oops I did it Again, Ice Ice Baby, the entire MC Hammer album..the one with Cant Touch This on it...among others. PITA. (pain in the arse.)

Had Papa Johns for the first time in ages last night...OMG. I forgot how good they are. Its funny, in high school they used to sell it for lunches and it was so greasy and gross I never ate it..although when i did eat in high school (which was almost never) I went for the cookies instead. Hey - they were good cookies! Not to mention ENORMOUS. About 800 calories per cookie probably...

Ive finally discovered a laundry soap that smells like laundry after you wash things...(yes i've been searching for one) Arm & Hammer...the metallic blue stuff in the clear container. For some reason its a stress reliever to smell clean laundry...not to mention then you can tell which clothes actually are clean in case they end up on the floor...(not that I'd know anything about that....)

My work pays for our gym membership...sooooo nice. And we have a gym right down the street from our house.. YAY! And it has child watch. The girls are great there. Although now since Pierce has hit 8 months...i think he's starting to realize that Mom or Dad isn't there... he goes into such fits and panics and turns completely purple and splotchy just like his aunt Shannon when she used to and still does get overworked. He only let me work out for 20 minutes yesterday... He'll figure it out eventually. He is working on crawling now...he can get on his hands and knees and just rock back and forth with a worried look on his face...it will come...and then we are going to have to figure out how to fence off the kitchen. He's a huge fan of sweet potatoes and butternut squash... he's growing up too fast. :( I kind of miss my itty bitty guy...but oh man is he fun! Zac's having a great time too...he's a stay at home dad and is just having a blast with Pierce.

Well, I think I've exhausted my gray cells for the time being...im going to make another cup of tea and contemplate cleaning. (which in reality will mean that I will get on facebook.)