Ok so this is in regard to my last post, because I still havent decided that if they give me the job that I even want the job.
I am worried that it will take too much out of my role as being a wife. Yes I realize I only really see hubby on weekends and nights, and that wont change, but I am scared that the extra time I have being awake will numb me to doing my wifely duties and being there for my husband. I dont want my work to get in the way of our relationship. He doesnt think anything will change other than I would be getting up earlier. He may be right. But I am a scaredy cat when it comes to change especially when it involves my relationship with him.
However maybe he is right, nothing will change other than I'd be a mite tired than usual. He is already set on doing the cleaning and having dinner ready when I come home, a bit of reverse roles there, but I'm not worried about that. It would help alot. Besides when he is done with school, the job market for his degree pays well enough that I would never have to work again in my life. And this whole Dance team thing is only until April, so... 6 months? And its not like I'd have to travel.
So here is me, if you havent guessed it already: a freakin worry-wart who feels guilty for stupid things like this with anxiety. I'm such a weenie. It means alot to me to be able to be a good christian wife to my husband, but I've almost come to the conclusion that until I get out of the working world, I can only function at 10% homemaker. I think too much.
Although the bottom line is: if they dont pay at least somewhere around $1000/ month, then its an automatic no-go no matter what. I will not do this as a volunteer effort. It must be the equivalent of being a second income that affords the gas back and forth every day. That is the deciding factor on if I consider the job or not. I just need to stop thinking about it until I find out the details on Tuesday.
