I think I might be learning something here… yesterday, I was irritated beyond belief, I haven’t been so mad in a long time. I stuck it out and bottled my anger up for the last 15 minutes of work and got home. I had to take a deep breath before I walked in the door. One thing I promised Zac was that I would leave work at work and when I was home, work wouldn’t matter. So Zac was busy with something and I went in to the room to change into sweats…and the most bizarre (I say bizarre for lack of a more awe-implicating word) thing happened. The second I sat down, I was overwhelmed with the need to pray for forgiveness and repent. For myself! I asked for forgiveness that I got so angry with the person and the situation, and for the awful feeling I projected towards them. I asked for forgiveness that I might be able to see perhaps where they were coming from with the point of view. I can tell you that I was amazed and astounded that this was coming out of my mouth…Usually I wouldn’t even bother, and I’d just sit and stew and replay what I should have done over and over and over again until I’d exhausted the scenario. (yes that’s how my mind works, I don’t know why.) And I know that as a Christian, that doing that sort of thing isn’t following the Light, nor is it the example I should be setting. I prayed a bit more on a few other things that went along with this situation, but I wont go into all that. The main point is that I never really had thought about asking for forgiveness for myself. I had always asked for help forgiving others. But I understand now that not repenting and asking for God to forgive you is just as much of a sin as not repenting for anything.
And the best part is…this morning, I felt great about it. I think it really made a difference in how I dealt with this person today. Last night, I think I actually learned the power of the Atonement and the power of repentance. Its there for a reason, and yes, it does work.
