Some days I wonder what it would be like if I could be a stay at home mom and my husband worked. But then I remember that our marriage is a much more happy place when I am the working spouse and he is teh stay at home parent. Besides, I couldnt take away the fun he has staying with Peepers. The situation really is perfect...
I think I am just tired. Make that slightly exhausted. I feel like I am running on fumes all the time. From the moment I wake up until the time I go to bed, aside from making myself lunch...I am at the service of everyone else. I spend 8 hours a day trying to make the people at my work happy, then I come hope and entertain my son and husband and then after Peepers goes to bed I hang out with my husband, which usually involves me cleaning something, and then I go to bed and do it all over again the next day, plus the 3 hours I take on Saturdays to go teach and then if we go to church on Sunday then I have to get dressed all over again. Dont get me wrong, I love my life. (aside from having to work, but I haven't met too many people that can get by without having to work) I think I just need to sit and have some me time. And I need to sleep more. And I probably should lay off the caffeine.
Some days I get a little jealous of some friends who are homemakers who wake up with their kids..send whoever off to school, have their coffee or tea or whatever and eat breakfast while watching cartoons...then cleaning teh house, running errands and baking or doing crafty things...while I am at the mercy of someone elses schedule and having to keep appointments and revenue and bills and things in my head at all times as a walking encyclopedia so whenever someone asks me something I can just rattle out the answer they want...it is kindof taxing filling your brain with so much stuff...I know that I should not envy the lives of others because they all come with their own baggage..but some days I cant help myself. Maybe I just need a vacation. Actually a million bucks may do the trick :)
Well, I will be starting up classes for my LCPB soon and when I get that over and done with then I can be my own boss. The problem is right now I jsut want to sit on my butt and not do anything. At all. For a long time. I think I will start planning a vacation. Apparently I need a getaway.
Ok well I feel a bit better from typing out my thoughts, as per usual...but unfortunatley it is no cure-all...for my mood nor my paperwork.
