Randoms.

I have black hair. Was going for dark dark brown. But its black. I have a very very happy husband because of this. He has been badgering me since senior year in HS to go back to black. Back then, I looked like death-meets-anorexic-gothic-crackwhore. Happy to say that now since I eat regualrly and keep up on my hair cuts and have very healthy hair I actually am pulling this off. Still getting used to it however...it is still REALLY DARK!!! I feel like I need to be a jazz singer in Portland right now...

I think I need to lay off the caffeine. I noticed that since i started drinking it again every morning my anxiety has been coming back. Dang. That sucks. O well. I will choose sleepiness over anxiety any day. And its horrible...I am anxious over nothing at all for no reason. Stupid.

Christmas eve is tomorrow. Family comes in tomorrow. I have to have my house clean tomorrow. This is all coming up so fast. Oye.

I think I have all my presents accounted for...I hope anyways. Well, still have to get Pierce some things tonight, but then im done. And then I am going to soak for an hour in a hot bubble bath and read.

I dont know what to do with myself right now. Stupid caffeine. I hate this "end-of-the-world" feeling. Such disparity.

I decided that in lieu of the Christmas and the new year... here is a list of things I am thankful for:

-a husband and son that make life absolutley beyond wonderful.
- a job that I like that affords a warm apartments
- 2 bedroom apartments!!!
- comfort food.
- a hobby job that lets me do what I love
- clean laundry
-cozy sweats
-a car that works that doent suck up my paycheck
-the raise I just got :)
- good tea.

I wish it was tradition here to have tea time...its such a nice break...Yes I observe the british tea times...only at work tho... Im never that scheduled at home..besides my saturdays are taken up completely with rehearsal. Maybe I will go have a cup of chammomile right now... Tea always seems to help my panic attacks.

I am so excited to make Baklava!! It is sooo good. I love the dessert that comes out of the middle east...so far its about the only good thing that came out of that region aside from Turkish coffee...I am craving Thai food from the restaurant in France that I went to. Where I lived was a very high population of Thai's and Laosians and HOLY MOLY THEY MAKE GOOD FOOD!!!!! I do remember the next two days I was completley swollen from all the salt and oil...but it was so worth it. I remember almost every dish had a thick layer of oil on the top..OMG. I am dying just thinking about it. Just another perk of living in Europe :)

I  miss Europe. I miss the food. I miss the laid back work weeks. I miss the public transportation. I especially miss the food. But oh well... I found when I was over there I was missing a few comfort foods that you can only get in America. But holy cow I remember I went to this 24-7 dance club over there, each room was a different theme with different style of music and lighting...had to be about 30 rooms... and one room was the dining room and it was BBQ only... I had BBQ'd duck french-style. I died and went to heaven. Twice. I dont think I have ever enjoyed BBQ as much as I did that night.

I cant find the dang tea box. Irritating.

I really want to go back to bed. I need a nap already. I may be back later....for now I have to go back to reconciling a bank acct. See you!