Hopelessness, despair, exasperation....utter aauugghh....It is days like this that my faith is tested. So is my patience. I seem to have this problem of running away from my problems instead of addressing them with God. I know that should be the first thing I should do when I feel like this, but my first actual action is to sit and cry, wonder what I'm going to do and then get angry at why things arent working the way I want. Dont get me wrong, I trust my Lord, but sometimes my negative emotions get in the way of His positive light. Ever have a good bad mood? I used to love those, but through my studies I have realized there is no point of being and staying in a bad mood because God is there to love us, and to help us through our trials and through our trials we either choose to grow closer or farther away to Him. So why o why does it take me so long to snap out of it? Sometimes it feels like by reading and praying I am holding my anger and sorrow in. I suppose the most important thing is that i need to more fully realize that He is there for me and that I need to remember to be greatful for that. And that things are not supposed to go my way. God has his ways of dealing with situations and I need to just be the spectator. I am learning. Jesus didnt say it would be easy, but I do ask for His mercy. It does uplift my moods listening to songs of praise, just to get back into the frame of a Godly mind. It is comforting to know that kneeling down can take away all your pain. He really is a generous and kind Father and I do owe him my undying thanks. The trials may not be easy and may last a month or maybe just a day, but to have Him as your army as well as commanding officer, no matter what you have already won the war. Psalm 30:2 - O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me
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