Happy Halloween!

It is Halloween! And my boss is going around to random offices with one of those horrendous looking masks scaring the daylights out of whoever owns that office. Luckily for me, I have been present for each one and I am the front desk so there isnt anywhere to hide. hehehe....

My work made me dress up for our lunch-hour party. I am a ballerina (no kidding) they wanted me to wear my tutu, but I think that it would be showing a bit too much leg at the office. Plus, it is crumpled to heck.  So I came in my practice gear, leotard, tights, warm up pants and ballet sweater. Yes my hair is in a bun and I am wearing my toe shoes. I look normal, but it is an authentic costume. So there. 

Tonight Zac and I are going to help out with our churches Trunk-or-Treat for the little kids, and then later we are going downtown. Now we dont drink or partake in any of that kind of thing, but tonight we are going downtown to the bars to watch the costume contests. Boiseans get crazy at Halloween. 

I didnt get to carve a pumpkin this year, but I was so busy I didnt think about it until today. O well. Oh, and no Im not going downtown dressed up.  I hope you all have a save and happy Halloween!

I have decided.

Thanks goes out to Linda and Emily, for thier advice and the testimony I gained in choosing a new name for my blog. Ofcourse the URL is still the same, I wish I could change it, but oh well. 

I came to the conclusion of the name "Doubting Him Not" because that is one of my foremost goals. It is so easy in times of gladness and joy that we pray and thank the Lord for all the good He has done, however when times of grief and strife hit us, the first thing we bombard Him with is "why? why have you forsaken me?" and other whatnots of that type. So we pray for us. We pray for Him to undo what He has done as if He did something wrong. 

I have learned to kneel during times of adversity and stress, and instead of asking Him why, I have learned and am still learing to submit, that He wouldnt have given me whatever stress or hard time if He didnt have a good reason. He always comes through and shows that nothing was in vain.

Therefore, I Doubt Him Not.

A happy note.

Ok, please excuse my last rant. I had to blow off some steam. It seems that my IRS problem has been resolved. Excuse my venting. Although I still like that little stressed out cat picture I used. Reminds me of what my cat might be feeling when my husband tries to terrorize him. Poor bug.

Oy Vey.

And the stress is mounting. Again. The newest predicament is with those lovely fershtinkiners we Americans so lovingly call "the IRS". So we are entitled to these "stimulus packages" right? Ofcourse. Even the rest of us Americans who filed an extension to file our return by October 15th. According the "nice" lady at the IRS, my tax return is being processed but wasnt received until the 23rd which makes me ineligble for a stimulus return. So that got me immediatly on the horn with my accountant, because we had that return postmarked definetly before the 15th. Our accoutant used to work for the IRS and he said that if the envelope is postmarked on or before the 15th, whether it is April or October, then we are not late and should be eligible.

 So he said that what probably happened is the person who entered them probably put the post date as the day they received my return and not the date on the stamped envelope. Now he is going to call them and see what schlep did that and get it reversed. Even if I postmarked it for the 13th, I should still be eligible. Its like all those people in April lining up at the blue post box on the 15th to get it in the mail by midnight. 

Searching for a New Name

I am looking to change the name of my blog... not the URL, because I cant figure out how to do that and keep my stuff... I just want to change it on my page. At the Hearth just doesnt seem right anymore. The only name I like so far is taken by someone else... If you have any ideas let me know. Changes abound. 

face lift again

I am in the process of de-trashing my house, my car and my personal details. So my blog is getting a facelift too. I havent decided whether I like this one or not, I'll keep playing with it, but it feels clean and minamalistic to me, and yet classy. So bear with me. It feels good to change things up a bit. And I do like the contrast of the yellow roses.

86 things you may or may not want to know.

Here are 86 things about me...

1. I much prefer fountain pens to gel or ballpoint. I don't know why, makes me feel fancy and old fashioned I guess. 

2. I still love and miss the old Saturday morning cartoons from the late 80's. The ones now are mindless drivel.

3. I don't like watching movies twice, unless it's Robin hood Men in Tights. Just not a movie person, although I watch them all the freaking time with my husband. 

4. I'm lazy. If I don't feel like doing something, 99% of the time, I procrastinate until the last second. 

5. I really really with a passion hate accounting and book keeping and money, but its just my nice-guy nature to have taken over my in laws books, and our bills. This is the last year I do the books though. I abhor it.

6. I never went to college because I wanted to be too many things, however my dream job is to become a stay at home wife/mother/homemaker. Although I'll probably end up get a teaching degree.

7. I tear up and get a homesick feeling when ever I see pictures of Ireland. I've never been there. 

8. I didn't do crap in high school. Senior year everyone thought I fell off the face of the earth because I sequestered myself in the art lab all day long. By senior year, I couldn't stand all the stupid people and high school politics.

9. I am not a people person. I have to force myself to be in crowds. I start to get anxiety if there are more than 6 people in the room that aren't family. I deal with it though.

10. I don't understand politics, but I can give you 15 different ways to run the country.

11. I have been dancing classically and in other mediums since I was 4. I teach classical ballet now. 

12. I am still a bundle of insecurities, though slowly getting better, still have to fake that confidence sometimes.

13. I always wanted to be a cowgirl and be able to get away with the silver jewelry and flannel shirts. There's just something romantic about that whole western ideal.

14. I hate chick-flicks, but yet am a hopeless romantic. The only love stories I like are bonnet-movies. 

15. The first thing my husband ever gave me was a punch to the stomach. He was play fighting with my best friend at the time and she moved and he hit me. We've been together ever since. 

16. My husband and I have been together for the most of 8 years. This upcoming February will be marriage anniversary number 3!

17. I am the exact opposite of my husband in almost everything. It works great.

18. I'd take seafood over any chocolate, steak or sweet thing any day. 

19. I am the biggest worry-wart that has ever walked the face of this earth. Then when things work out, I kick myself for expounding so much dang energy worrying over nothing. 

20. I am the oldest of 2 kids, and only just started to get along with my sister 6 years ago. And now she lives 6 hours away and I keep kicking myself for not enjoying her presence sooner. 

21. My husband was the only boy I ever dated.

22. I have travelled a lot of places a lot of times, but have only been to Disneyland once.

23. I would like a house of our own to call home and to keep up and to decorate. I hate apartments. 

24. I am a horrendous driver. Not like I've totaled my car or anything else for that matter, I just freak my husband out when I drive.

25. I am also horrible about my cars upkeep.... I can hear my engine clicking from needing oil. See #4.

26. I am the biggest bookworm ever, but I haven't read a book for 3 years due to lack of time.

27. I never, ever skipped school in high school. I was too afraid of what punishment would be at home when mom and dad found out. 

28. I have a ton of scars, but they are all tiny ones from wrestling with my cats throughout the years.

29. I was always "Teachers Pet" in elementary school, got made fun of quite a bit. Didn't help I had THICK, LARGE coke bottle glasses and a perm with fluffy bangs.

30. Even though I hate accounting and such, I love math like algebra and trig. I also love English courses. This year helping my husband with his college math papers were the highlight of my day. 

31. I had a ton of cats through the years and still remember every name and color pattern. Here they are: Darling, Sparkle Shine, Skittles, OC (outside cat), Little One, Itty-Bitty, Porky, Curious, Harvey, Sadie, Roscoe, Squeaky, Buddy, Fuzzy-Butt and my current furball is named Stinky. 

32. Nicknames from family: Punkin, sweetpea, court, Torqwrench. Nicknames from husband: Too embarrassing to say to anyone but him.

33. I hate the news with a passion unless I know someone on it who did something stupid. Then I turn it off because that stupid person I probably knew in high school is still the same stupid moron for making the news.

34.  My husband proposed to me over a pile of dirty laundry in his bedroom the day I got back from France. He was going to do it at the airport, but my mom talked him out of it because my cat had died while I was in France and no on freaking told me until the day I got back. So we went to his mom's house to say hi and he went back to his room while I was talking to his mom and he called me back. I went back thinking nothing of it, and he was there on one knee, shaking like crazy. It couldn't have been better!

35. The worst injury I have ever had was a hernia. My next to worst was a fractured wrist.  

36. I don't really ever get bored. 

37. I like all kinds of music except for mainstream stuff and opera. 

38. I can count the times I have been pulled over on one hand, but 2 of those were by the same cop in the same spot in the same month. Yes, he remembered me.

39. I hate being frugal. I hate pinching pennies and making food last, although I am proud of myself for making $20 in food last for two people for 1 month. 

40. One day I am going to be able to afford to buy everything I write down on my shopping list!

41. I love grocery shopping. New food is like clean laundry, wonderful to enjoy.

42. If I had a choice between an awesome looking boob-job and lasic eye surgery, I would choose eye surgery. I'd rather be able to see my small boobs than to go blind later in life. 

43. I've only had one calling in my church, and then we moved. I don't mind one bit. 

44. I hate to sing in Sacrament Meeting, but thoroughly enjoy it in Relief Society.

45. I LOVE cold rainy gloomy weather, but I hate being cold. I want to hug the person who invented warm husbands, sweaters, blankets, and tea.

46. I love to get dressed up just as much as I love to be a scrounge. Its fun.

47. I would love to act in musicals on Broadway.

48. I am scared to death to have children, more about losing the weight than anything else. I also want 2 kids. Already have names picked out.

49. I always wanted to be a chef, but vowed that after working at Subway and Papa Murphy's I'd never work in the food industry ever again. So I just cook at home. 

50. I once told my sister when she was 4 years old that if she didn't fold her toilet paper on the perforations  and score them before using it, the toilet paper police would come and take her away. She believed me until she was about 9 years old. She can beat me up now. 

51. If hubby and I could move anywhere, it would be Sitka, Alaska, although Vancouver looks to be the next place we will be put. **more on that later

52. I am a soda fiend!! I can drink a 2 liter by myself. Its dangerous to have it around me, unless its Coca Cola...then I don't touch it. Icky.

53. I tried to be anorexic for 2 years in high school. It backfired, I gained weight and now cant ever imagine not eating more than 3 time a day. 

54. I have absolutely no desire to go to the South. Or the mid-west. Too dang hot for starters...

55. No desire to go to Mexico or South America. If the trip was offered, I'd take it, but wouldn't go on my own accord. I wouldn't go to Africa if you paid me. I'll watch National Geographic and the Travel Channel instead.

56. Sometimes I wish I was tall. (I'm 5' 3/4") But then I remind myself I wouldnt be able to find cute shoes and I wouldn't fit so well in my husbands arms. 

57. I don't particularly care for hot chocolate. I'd rather have tea. 

58. I used to wish we still dressed in dresses from 1100AD, the comfy ones before they figured out corsets. So pretty. I still wouldn't mind.

59. Before I became a member of a church and started going, I made it a point to never ever wear a dress on Sundays, unless it was Easter Sunday. I didn't want anyone associating me with Christians.

60. I love babysitting because I get a chance to be a kid again. If I had a sidewalk, I'd still have sidewalk chalk. When we lived with the Halls, it was so tempting to have all that driveway and not to get sidewalk chalk and draw away. 

61. My husband thinks I'm fragile and is extremely overprotective of me, and even though I protest sometimes I secretly love that he wants to keep me safe and is so concerned about me. 

62. I used to make it a point to look the best I could, to dress up and make sure I was put together, and within the past 2 years, my sweats are my favorite thing to be in. I get made fun of by my mother inlaw (who is very into looks) for wearing PJ pants or sweats and flipflops to the store. I think its cute. And dangit, Im comfy.

63. Sleeping is one of the top things on my favorites list. I am definetly NOT a morning person.

64. It took me forever to get used to not carrying my cell phone 24-7. I still get a little anxiety sometimes when I dont have it. 

65. I love clothes and shoes but hate shopping unless its at Ross. I just cant justify spending more than $9 on a shirt.

66. I love going out to eat. I love the atmosphere, the food (most of the time) and being with my husband. Maybe it just caters to my inner rich-girl. But then again, a solid home-cooked meal blows restaurants out of the water completley.

67. I hate spiders, crawly things, flies and mosquitos. (insert spine shiver)

68. I'm not large by any means, but I fear bathing suit season. Shopping for swim suits is up there with jean shopping. Miserable.

69.  Im the biggest cheapskate I know, but only when it comes to myself. Theres an issue there I am sure I need to work through... I can justify a $25 pair of headphones for hubby but cant wrap my head around why I should spend $12 on a new purse for me. 

70. I'm horrible at keeping a diary. So I blog. It's a godsend. One day I'll print everything out and bind it and call it good. 

71. My most favorite cherished book of all time is Catherine called Birdy. I bought it in 5th grade and still read it.

72. I speak present and future tense French. Even though I lived there and worked there, I still cant tell you something has already been done. Freakin hard.

73. I hate Curry. I refuse to use it. I also hate acorn squash. Yes, even with brown sugar and bacon. Give it up already.

74. The most fun I have had this past year was when my husband and I went to Salt Lake City for the weekend, and went to Lagoon. It was like we were both 10 years old again. 

75. I'm mostly Irish, with English, Welsh and German roots. Somewhere up the family tree, someone married a Cherokee Indian, but that doesnt seem to matter. I'm Irish dangit.

76. I look like my moms side of the family completely. My sister looks like my dads side of the family completely. And yet everyone says we look alike. My mom doesnt even say that. We dont even resemble eachother. It's like we were orphans.

77. My best friend died when I was 16. I knew her from 4 years old. I still miss her.

78. SInce 6th grade, I've had 7 classmates die. Most of them were suicides.

79. I've only had 1 close family member die since I've been alive.

80. I only have 3 cousins. I am the oldest.

81. The best vacations I ever went on growing up was the yearly couple weeks spent in the Bay Area at Grandmas with my 2 cousins (at the time). 

82. The best vacation with my husband was our honey moon camping out in Alaska. 

83. I never ever get zits. And on the rare occasion I do, I get 5 little glowing red ones in the most horrible places that no amount of makeup can cover. 

84. I really really really hate waking up in the morning, but I absolutley love being up in the mornings. I also prefer to wake up early and get off work early.

85. I've been many different hair colors, but at heart, I will always be dark brown. (watch for a post on this)

86. Winter is my favorite season. 

A word of caution to high-heel wearers...

PUT THEM AWAY when your done!! or end up like this. I was brutally attacked by an upside down high heel hiding slightly under a shirt the other day. Stomped right on it. (yes, im keeping it clean, im just airing it out at the moment.

Rambling of the dullest kind.

Looking forward to another Tuesday night date at the tea house. I love the fact that my husband sets aside time for the two of us 'married folk' to go on a date. It is nice.

I'm tired today, we got into an anime series on monday night and so last night we got a few more of the dvds and went to bed about 11. I had to be at work at 7am today, so that sucked a bit, but I am going home for lunch today and think i'll take a shower and wake up a bit more. I'm bummed though because tuesdays and thursdays i get off at 4 and 4:30... tuesdays and thursdays are zacs late days, he doesnt get out of class until 4:30. Bummer. 

I slept on my neck wrong last night. I really am in need of going to the chiro, but my insurance doesnt kick in until Nov. 1st. I want to get LASIK as soon as possible, but thats a $3000 surgery and I think my insurance only pays for $500 of it. I am still paying off my kidney bills, perhaps I should wait until Zac gets back in the work force. 

I have no motivation today. I got done what was important, now im just waiting for el luncho. I'm excited to become a housewife. When Zac gets in the work force he said I didnt have to work full time if I didnt want to. (YAYYY!) I'd probably end up part time at a bookstore or a coffeeshop or something. 

I need a camera. Photos need to be taken and shared. I had a couple cameras, cheapies, and guess what? They went kaput. 

***back from lunch***

woot. I feel better. And I only have one hour left. sweeet. Zac took the truck today.. wonder why. He doesnt have a BSU parking pass.. weird. OK gotta finish up for the day.

Long lazy awesome weekend

Well, no suprise here...we won the ball game! It was a fairly lack-luster game in comparison to others, and we seem to have been sleeping until the half, but we came out on top. We had absolutly gorgeous weather to go with it!!! And it was way fun, I got of work early at 3pm, then met up with hubby, grampa and dad at the Ram. (finally.) We all made short work of fried calamari, nachos, crab and artichoke dip and boneless spicy chicken strips. Holy cow they were yummy. And it was fun to just sit back and ramble about whatever. Found out my grandma is throwing my grampa a HUGE 80th birthday in December, keep in mind my grampa may be 80, but he looks about 67 and acts about 45. My family ages very well. On both sides come to think of it... anywho...

So we got done with the game and then made some tea and went to bed. Saturday, we slept in until about 9am, and neither one of us really felt like moving at all... one of those days where you could stay in bed cuddling alllll day long. But we ended up getting up and going to Nampa. We were bummed, because we thought with all the snow and the freeze last week that last week was our last mowing week ever! But then this whole past week has been 70 degrees. (welcome to Idaho.) But we only had to mow 4 yards so it wasnt too bad. Then we drove back to mom-in-laws and did laundry and kicked back and watched the Ohio vs. Michigan game. Ohio killed them.  Then back to Boise it was... Zac had a concert to go to with his friend Jake, so I went and did some grocery shopping and tried to dye my hair blonde, turned out red, so its back to dark brown. Zac got home about 10:30 and we talked with Jake for awhile.. after he left we went back to winco for something... oh yeah.. zacs dinner. Then came home and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It had a few unexpected scenes that made us cover our eyes, but otherwise was kinda funny... still wouldnt reccommend it to anyone I know. Went to bed at 2am. I dont even remember saying prayers I was so tired.

Sunday, church doesnt start until 12:30, but ya think either of us were coherent by that time? We were both soooo tired we were punchy all of sacrement meeting. We both felt like we had been hit in the head with a shovel a few to many times. Not to mention that the speakers were horrendously boring this particular day, so I really dont know why or how we made it through the entire 3 hours of church. Not to mention we had to get there at 12 to receive a calling and stay after to be set apart. I was downright retarded by the time I got home. Our calling by the way, is Zac and I will be heading sacrement meeting at the nearby retirement home that is in our ward. I will play the piano and sing and speak and whatnot, Zac will preside  and talk and bless the sacrement, and i think a few deacons will come and help pass the sacrement. This is at 10:30 until 11:30?? and then we go home and then go to our regularly scheduled ward. I think this should prove interesting. And Zac and I both agreed that this should help us with our testimonies being able to minister each week and really have to think about what we know. It will be good for us. So anyways, back to being retarded... we went home, I made sketti and then we went to Hastings. We are big Anime lovers, so we found a series we thought we would like, rented the first 2 DVD's, bought some creme soda and popped some popcorn and settled in for the evening. Then went to bed. 

And here I am this morning, contacts decided not to work, woke up late... Zac told me to set the alarm for 7am, I did, I woke him up, next thing both of us know it is 7:30. Eeesh. So I am just tired now... Well that was my fun weekend. I am so excited ot not have yards to mow after this saturday. The weekends go by so much slower when you arend working. 

BSU vs. Hawaii tonight on the BLUE!

We're gonna kick butt! 

Staying on top of my life.

I just cant get out from under the mess. We live in a 600 square foot box, and yet it is always a pigsty! Even after I get things spotless, 5 minutes later its a disaster again. My hours got changed at work, so now Tuesdays and Thursdays I get off at 4pm, which in my mind made sense that the one exxtra hour I have would be beneficial to getting chores done. So what happened yesterday? Ohhh... something waaaaaaaay better than cleaning.... my awesome, most wonderful, no-words-to-describe-him husband took me out for a couple pots of tea at the tea room. It was so relaxing, just sitting there on our date and just shooting the breeze and enjoying eachother. Then after we were done, he decided we needed a new tea set, (because mine was ugly and got lost in the move anyways) so he drove us over to Cost Plus and found an awesome little teapot and two cups. Then we walked down the strip mall to the Halloween Express store, (oh boy..) They had a lot of stuff, but quite honestly, I am not a Halloween Person. I am more of a Better Homes & Gardens halloween kind of gal. I dont like fake limbs and awful looking masks. But whatever. 

This is pretty much how my week goes whether its a date or not, there is always something going on with the both of us, I'm either teaching at night on Wednesdays, or Zac and I are doing something together and goofing off. So you can see how easy not getting to housework is. However, Thursday night at 6:30, I've got 2 ladies from Relief Society coming over, so sometime in between tonights dance class and the hour after work tomorrow I have before they get there, my house has to be spotless. Oh what am I poopin about.... I'd much rather have fun with my husband! Too bad cleaning with him isnt fun. 

Sigh...

That is all I have to say today. Zac is taking me out to the Shangri-La Tea Room tonight for our date night. All I can say is that I really need a pot of tea. Sigh.

I must share.

We sang this in church today, the words are so simple and so truthful, I am compelled to post them. 

I Am a Child of God

I am a child of God,

And he has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

Chorus

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with him someday.

I am a child of God,

And so my needs are great;

Help me to understand his words

Before it grows too late.

Chorus

I am a child of God.

Rich blessings are in store;

If I but learn to do his will

I'll live with him once more.

Chorus

I am a child of God.

His promises are sure;

Celestial glory shall be mine

If I can but endure.

Chorus

I feel like a proud mama.

**thats not my husband... just a photo.**

My husband is joining the competitive Paintball Team at Boise State this year. A quarter of me is a little perturbed, only because practice is on Sundays scheduled at the same time we go to church. However, in January, our church time changes, so it wouldnt be for that long. The other three-quwarters of me is thrilled because he is getting into something and being an active participant in something he loves to do. College has changed him, I've watched him grow up in a matter of months. Its amazing. The drive he has now is so sexy. (TMI, I know. Sorry.)

I am so proud of him that he is taking college upon himself to succeed and be the best he can, and to get involved in a hobby that he enjoys. And I am more than happy to support him in his endeavors with my love as well as financially. 

I just hope I am able to travel to the competitions with him, A) because I want to cheer him on, and B) because I am the biggest weenie in the world when he is gone. Heellllooo anxiety!! Especially if he has to compete outside the Pacific North West. I just worry. But I think he will have an absolute blast doing this! 

A new cooking site I enjoy

www.tastespotting.com

Layoff season again. (But not for me, praise Him!)

At this point, I dont care who gets to be president. I shouldnt say that, I mean whatever happens, I just hope the economy does something good. My new job just laid off 2 employees that have been there for a very very long time. Which is a suprise because had I known layoffs were going to happen, I would have guessed it would have been me, just because I was the newest to the group. But apparently, they sat me down and told me that they really like me, want to keep me on, and it is the drive and motivation and good attitude I have, and also the efficiency factor I have that is really working for me. (good to know..) Also, we have cut the janitorial service and they are hiring me on a few days a week in the mornings before work for more pay... (I'll take that) 

My point in saying I dont care who's president is just me wishing that something would happen for the better. We vote here shortly, and I am no psychic so I cant predict who is going to win. I just hope that there is hope for either McCain or Obama. And yes I realize the differences between the two, I've watched the debates and have formed my own opinions, but I cant change things. Whoever wins, wins. I just pray that America has a fighting chance with either one. 

And I praise God that I still have a job, and that He is still providing for my family.

Notes from Maya Angelou

I like this post from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home (link at right) who took it from Clothesline Alley:

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost," Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou.
I was a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.

~Maya Angelou

Hardy-har-har. So funny I forgot to laugh.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Dont make me laugh. I have been worried about nothing apparently. My last two posts were me being wendy-worry-wart about coaching a highschool dance team. Well, I talked to a couple of current coaches at other highschools, and some that have previously coached at others... guess how much they make a month...

Can you guess??

Ok wait for it....

$300 a month!!!!!!!!!! 

That would buy me gas. Thats it. I cant believe the school districts get away with paying $300 a month for a butt-load of time spent in the wee hours of the morning, trying to figure out bussing to competitions, trying to budget for costumes, trying to get the board of administrators to even give you funding for a bus, dealing with parents, and a whole slew of other things that take up ALL of your spare time. Not to mention I'd be coming from East Boise. 

What a waste. So the guy is going to call tomorrow regardless, and unless I can get $1000 or more a month (yeah right) then darn it, I wont do it. 

If that is all they are paying, then this is a job for a wife who doesnt have work who is local. Perhaps if this job was in Boise, then I would try and haggle for $500 a month, but whatever. 

Screw this idea. Thanks for the support everyone... Its good to know I've got good people to bounce ideas off of. 

My mind is going to kill me one day.

Ok so this is in regard to my last post, because I still havent decided that if they give me the job that I even want the job. 

I am worried that it will take too much out of my role as being a wife. Yes I realize I only really see hubby on weekends and nights, and that wont change, but I am scared that the extra time I have being awake will numb me to doing my wifely duties and being there for my husband. I dont want my work to get in the way of our relationship. He doesnt think anything will change other than I would be getting up earlier. He may be right. But I am a scaredy cat when it comes to change especially when it involves my relationship with him.

However maybe he is right, nothing will change other than I'd be a mite tired than usual. He is already set on doing the cleaning and having dinner ready when I come home, a bit of reverse roles there, but I'm not worried about that. It would help alot. Besides when he is done with school, the job market for his degree pays well enough that I would never have to work again in my life. And this whole Dance team thing is only until April, so... 6 months? And its not like I'd have to travel. 

So here is me, if you havent guessed it already: a freakin worry-wart who feels guilty for stupid things like this with anxiety. I'm such a weenie. It means alot to me to be able to be a good christian wife to my husband, but I've almost come to the conclusion that until I get out of the working world, I can only function at 10% homemaker. I think too much.

Although the bottom line is: if they dont pay at least somewhere around $1000/ month, then its an automatic no-go no matter what. I will not do this as a volunteer effort. It must be the equivalent of being a second income that affords the gas back and forth every day. That is the deciding factor on if I consider the job or not. I just need to stop thinking about it until I find out the details on Tuesday.

Oh what a pickle.

A new dilemma has shown up. I need advice. Here it is:

Yesterday about 1pm, I get a text message from one of the highschool girls I teach in ballet class that says "would you want to coach Columbia HS dance team?" Ummm...YEAH! So I call her and ask whats going on... apparently the 2 coaches, (who apparently the school, parents and dancers have all very much disliked for 3 years) just up an left at noon. I dont know the exact reason why yet... Im going to ask. So Columbia Dance Team is coachless. So I called the athletic director and he will get back to me on Tuesday when school resumes, so i dont have this job for sure, its just a huge commitment so I have to think if I even want to consider taking it.. (apparently the entire state of Idaho is off for 5 days.) My husband was the one who got the text and called me and said you better jump on this... 

Here's what I know: I have been dancing since I was 4, I was on Skyview HS danceteam, I teach at a studio now. 70% of the team at columbia I teach at the studio. I have a blast teaching in general, and dance team coaching has been something I have wanted to do for ages!

Here's what I also have to consider: Practice is in Nampa, 20 miles away from 6-7:15ish in the morning Mon-Fri (unless I schedule otherwise), I have to be back in Downtown Boise at 8am to work until 5, I would most likely be in charge of an athletic budget, I would have to deal with parents, and I would have to coordinate competition schedules/fundraisers/basketball season.

Having said that: I wake up early anyways, and the drive to nampa without traffic takes 20 minutes, the drive back if i take Victory Rd would put be at work a little before 8am, I am already the bookeeper and accountant for my husbands business and my inlaws so I'm not scared of a budget, parents are like difficult clients that come into the office - just gotta deal with them, and the 2 ladies that own my studio I have known since I was 4 and one has taught Vallivue HS Dance team for over 25 years and is a judge for all the competitions, and the other is the rules and regulations coordinator for all the Idaho sector danceteams so I have a good support backing. And my day would be over at 5pm and I would get to go home to hubby as normal. I wouldnt have to choreograph all the dances, I can bring in choreographers... so thats a load off.

My only hang-up: I get sick easy. If I dont eat right and sleep enough, I get sick. If I were to take this, my day would start at 5am and end at 5pm...thats a 12 hour work day, then 5 more hours awake at home with hubby. And if I got sick, there would really be no "sick days". Zac already said he is supporting me completely in this if I want to do it, he wants me to do it.  He said he'd clean and cook and help me out with dance team stuff if needed. He would also help me stay on track of a high-protien, high-energy diet that incuded supplements to keep me healthy since I would be on the go for 12 hours straight. So far that is my only hang up. 

I would get paid, Im not sure how much just yet, as I said, I have to wait until Tuesday to find out all the details, but it would be like having a second income again, which would put me at ease. Zac would get a job, but his school hours at the University are so sporadic and long that no one will take him. Which is more than fine with me, he is going to school so he can one day support me and our kids, not just sitting on his butt while I work forever. And he works hard at school too. Im so proud.  

So anyways... thats my dilemma. I talked to the lady at my studio who coaches Vallievue, she said its alot of work and its fun. My mom, who was a dance team mom thinks I'm nuts because she hated it when I and my sis were on the team, because she was the only pro-active parent...

 I really really want to do this.  It would be so much fun! I am young and no kids, and have the support of my husband and quite a few others in the dance world... I still have to find out why they 2 coaches quit, although I grew up with them on Skyview Dance team and have my own reasons why still no one likes to work with them. I dont know. Oh! And it would only be until April/May. 

So there is the pickle. I actually feel better about the whole thing now that I typed it out. What do you think?

Easy chicken enchiladas

These turned out great last night! I was purusing a magazine and for once had all the ingredients for a recipe. I dont ever pay attention to how much of anything i put in, so whatever you think is good will work.

Chicken enchiladas

1 12oz can of chicken

3 oz cream cheese

mexican seasonings

lime juice

onions

jalepenos or green chilis

cheddar cheese

tortillas

sour cream

milk

oil

In a skillet, mix together chicken, jalepenos, onions, cream cheese, lime juice, cheese and spices until hot and bubbling. In a small skillet, warm up cooking oil and dip both sides of a tortilla in it, then place in a glass dish. spoon chicken mixture in the middle, roll and place in dish. repeat until you have no more chicken. in a separate bowl, combine sour cream and milk until you get a heavy cream thickness. pour evenly on tortillas. cover with cheddar cheese. Bake at 350 until cheese is golden. 

Turned out great!