Ok so this is in regard to my last post, because I still havent decided that if they give me the job that I even want the job.
I am worried that it will take too much out of my role as being a wife. Yes I realize I only really see hubby on weekends and nights, and that wont change, but I am scared that the extra time I have being awake will numb me to doing my wifely duties and being there for my husband. I dont want my work to get in the way of our relationship. He doesnt think anything will change other than I would be getting up earlier. He may be right. But I am a scaredy cat when it comes to change especially when it involves my relationship with him.
However maybe he is right, nothing will change other than I'd be a mite tired than usual. He is already set on doing the cleaning and having dinner ready when I come home, a bit of reverse roles there, but I'm not worried about that. It would help alot. Besides when he is done with school, the job market for his degree pays well enough that I would never have to work again in my life. And this whole Dance team thing is only until April, so... 6 months? And its not like I'd have to travel.
So here is me, if you havent guessed it already: a freakin worry-wart who feels guilty for stupid things like this with anxiety. I'm such a weenie. It means alot to me to be able to be a good christian wife to my husband, but I've almost come to the conclusion that until I get out of the working world, I can only function at 10% homemaker. I think too much.
Although the bottom line is: if they dont pay at least somewhere around $1000/ month, then its an automatic no-go no matter what. I will not do this as a volunteer effort. It must be the equivalent of being a second income that affords the gas back and forth every day. That is the deciding factor on if I consider the job or not. I just need to stop thinking about it until I find out the details on Tuesday.
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The job of worry is to anticipate danger before it arises and identify possible perils, to come up with ways to lessen the risks, and to rehearse what you plan to do. Worrywarts get stuck in identifying danger as they immerse themselves in the dread associated with the threat, which may be real or, more likely, imagined. They spin out an endless loop of melodrama, blowing everything out of proportion. "What if I have a heart attack?" "What if there is an earthquake?" "What if someone breaks in when I'm asleep?"
While worrywarts insist worrying is helpful, little is solved. Stuck in thinking ruts, they stop living in the here and now--the present moment. Worrywarting is torment--a kind of self-imposed purgatory that makes you feel bad, stresses you out, and wastes precious moments of your life.
Worse yet, worry begets more worry, setting into motion a vicious circle of frightening thoughts and anxious response. It is self-perpetuating, pushing into greater anxiety and more worry. Allowed to continue unchecked, chronic worry can evolve into panic attacks and, in extreme cases, agoraphobia, which is a paralyzing fear of having a panic attack, especially in public. It can be so severe that, in the worst cases, the sufferer can't leave home. Sometimes panic attacks can be so extreme that the worry-victim thinks he or she is having a heat attack and is rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
Find out if you are a worrywart by taking the quiz, “Am I a Worrywort” at http://www.docpotter.com/Worry_test.html.
Trying to stop worry is usually futile. Instead, we need to become “smart worriers”. Smart worriers do the work of worry and then they soothe themselves to get back to balance. Smart worriers designating a time and place to worry in order to contain it. When worrying a problem through, they talk to themselves like a good friend would and not like a fuddy-duddy. (FUD = Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) After the worry session smart worriers realize that they are riled up and anxious, so they soothe themselves by employing one of the below techniques to bring themselves back to balance.
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