Tomorrow, tomorrow....

One day I hope to have a job where I dont feel like a complete failure. I am almost 30 and yet I still feel like the naive 19 year old who just got her first job. I feel like everyone else has so much more experience than i do and that im just that kid who works here. when in reality I think I do more than anyone here. And i dont mean like my boss who works 28 hours a day... i mean i can do a lot of things. I dont know. Some day s i feel as though i just am not competent. Like my mind is slipping and im not that smart anymore. I want people to come to me for help or advice. I hate constantly being the one who needs answers. I may be 28 in body but i feel like everyone else perceives me as the wet behind the ears just gradutaed high school kid. I wonder if other people feel that way.

I am hoping I get a new desk soon. It will be nice to have a better organizational system. And it will be nice to sleep through the night. I think that is a little of my problems. Plus the holidays didnt help. So much going on. And then my boss wants to hire employees and make me one - which is fine - however its been over a year since I have done any HR... trying to get my head back around what I used to do. Not to mention he gave us 2 weeks to get any of this done. Which ive got the legal stuff done, I just now have to remmeber how on earth to do payroll correctly and which taxes I do. It is slowly coming back to me. Some days I really wish that I drank and that I really actually liked wine.

I am excited for this year tho! I am going to get organized and back in shape! To the gym every lunch break and Ive got a system that is starting to work out in my benefit for staying organized at my desk. And I have discovered that a red bull in the morning means that I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more productive. Unlike today. I was productive for a streak of about 3 hours. And now look where I'm at.

I cant wait to get home and just sit. I'd like to cry a little, but I wont. I dont have time lol. It doesnt help I didnt write down a to do list today either, so I was being very sporadic today. Ugh....I would like a margarita.

Here's to tomorrow and red bull - I will get shit done!