So what have I been doing for 2 weeks??

I have been dying a thousand miserable deaths...that's what. Ok fine, it hasnt been that bad. Two days after I shipped the boys off I got the worst cold EVER! I stayed in bed for most of that Saturday, ALL of Sunday and thankfully Monday was Presidents day so I got to spend that day in bed too. I suppose it was a slight blessing being alone for this illness...normally when I get sick, so do the boys...and that means I dont get time to be sick because I am administering to them. The sucky part was having to make my own soup...my own taco bell runs...no one to talk to...no hugs... :( I am feeling much better, I still have a slight sinus infection and a cough, but I will gladly take that over what it had started out as.

I am so lonely. I cant wait for Wednesday night to hurry up. I have done pretty darn well alone for 2 weeks - but I am attributing my success to the fact that I was in a coma for the better part of it. I also singlehandedly trashed my house. Mostly because when I was at the peak of my comatose state I just threw things and they landed and there they stayed. I started cleaning yesterday...almost done.

My sister's boyfriend's dad and step-mom live 20 minutes away from me so her and her man came up this weekend to visit them, and her being awesome, decided we needed to go out to breakfast. I had so much fun. She is contemplating moving up here some time next year...I would love it if she could. Not only would I be able to see her more often but we would have a built in babysitter! I wonder how she would do with the rain tho...we're kind of a specific kind of people up here....

I am so happy too - I will get paid this pay period! I was a little worried...cash flow at work sometimes takes its dear sweet time since we are a service-based business...Just got word that one of our big vendors approved the upfront payment and I will be able to pay my rent on time! So happy. :) This is the first time in our married lives that we have been able to put money into savings and actually keep it there...after this pay period we will have $1000 to our name that thankfully doesnt need to be used! I love financial stability. I just wish I made a little more. I know I will once my schooling for my Licensed Certified Public Bookkeeper is over...but that wont be until sometime next year.

Some days I wonder what it would be like if we were a different religion. I dont plan on changing my current on, but its always been a pondering of mine. Religion is such an interesting topic to me, I still would like a PhD in Theology...I love seeing the way people do things...I had thought to visit some different services the past couple Sundays...but seeing that I was the walking plague....I didnt want to invite an exorcism.

I have a lot to do today at work and my motivation is slowly ticking away...it is especially hard because today is the sunniest its been in a LONG time. I woke up 40 minutes before my alarm because my room was bathed in sunlight! I got excited and then got outside and had to chip the ice off my car. Seems more like Thanksgiving weather than almost March weather...I would have loved to have teh day off. Hiking, running errands, cleaning...whatever...its so gorgeous out. Unfortunatley we dont have another Monday holiday until Memorial Day I think.

So I've decided to start a bible study. I read the book of Acts once...very enlightening. And not so much in a spiritual sense, but as in the history!! You always revert back to the historical timeline you learned in school and dont ever realize that when Rome was at its peak that the rest of the world was living life as well. Or historical characters you hear the name of but never put together as being alive at the same time. Fascinating. It really makes history come alive when you can piece the world together like a jigsaw puzzle. At this point I am more interested in studying the Bible for its historical value than anything else..but I think that understanding the history of the timeframe that all this stuff took place, New Testament particulary, it really makes the story of Jesus and the Apostles and all that come alive a little more and puts a more solid foundation behind all the church-y stories you grow up with. So....why not.

I also tried and failed at celebrating Lent. Apparently I dont have the wearwithall for it. (yes i am sure that is spelled wrong) Ive never celebrated Lent, I only just understood it as of 3 days ago listening to a sermon at a Catholic Mass on Catholic Radio...it is amazing how when you stop to learn about other peoples traditions and they reasons behind why they do things that the world starts making a little bit more sense. Lent is a great tradition, I really like the idea behind it..however I dont think I am ready to celebrate it yet. It is more than just seeing if you can live with out chocolate or fast food for 40 days...it is a commitment to a change that shouldnt be taken lightly...and Im not ready for that yet. Good thing its not really practiced in my church.  In fact I am not sure anyone in my church really even knows what Lent is...it seems the majority of people only know what they were taught in Primary and then only what the church teaches. No one cares to find out about any of the others. And Im not saying to search for another church, but to know what is out there, it really does make the world seem a little less crazy.

I reallllly overdid it yesterday on my carb intake...I have been doing so well and feeling so good...but I was cleaning all day yesterday and the only thing that sounded good was something with a lot of cheese. And what goes best with a lot of cheese???? PASTA!! So I went and done it. I ate pasta. And I enjoyed every bite. That is, until about 10 minutes after I was done. I dont tolerate wheat very well....I spent the rest of the evening in a Purgatory of extreme bloatedness, swollen fingers and toes and a very upset stomach. Was it worth it??? Heck yes. But it will be a long time before I submit myself to the call of pasta.

I had so many good ideas and plans for the two weeks I had alone...stupid cold. I also have been having anxiety dreams about moving back to Idaho. I have this subconcious fear that since all our family is there and all of Zac's good friends are there that he will go for a trip and decide he wants to move back. These stupid dreams have been after me since he left. The only reason I can see us ever moving back there is if my parents were ever ill or dying or something. But that's it. Idaho is nice to visit...but that's all.

I need a beach trip. With a hotel or beach house included. I would like a vacation. But I dont think I get vacation time for a long time. Poo. Oh well...good thing the beach is only 2 hours away.

I get to do taxes tonight. I sure hope we get a refund...we have never not...I guess we'll see :)

Ok, well I think Ive written enough...ta ta for now!

They leave tomorrow :(

My boys leave tomorrow. Poo. I hate it when they leave - not that they do very often, I just hate coming home to nobody. Oh well, they will have fun, I hope.

I have rehearsal tonight, should be fun as usual. I will be missing quite a few people tonight, so I wont be able to move on in the choreography, but that is kind of a blessing....Ive been pretty busy the past week and havent really had time to dig into new choreo. And we need to polish up what we've done so far, I am not sure anyone is going to remember what we did 2 saturdays ago.

Recent events have made me so so so thankful for the church I am in and for my husband and for the marriage we have. I am so happy that I can trust my husband to be loyal and faithful. It makes life really good.

Ok - theres my random thoughts for today. I really have nothing else.

I have no title for this one..

No matter how hard I try to think about it....I never seem to be able to come up with anything clever for my blog. All my crap is just so random - like a diary entry..not that it is bad...but whatever. Ive been forced to be so left-brained and logical for so long now I think I forgot how to be creative. I also have been putting everything else first and leaving myself last that I am scared that if I try to go back to my normal right-brained self that I wont find me anymore...I will test this theory in the 2 weeks the boys are gone.

I wish I could do something clever like The Pioneer Woman - aside from dancing she has my dream job. I also am a little scared about one of my jobs. We are growing and we are going to be having some really good guest teachers come teach and do sessions...Im scared that my students are going to like them better and I will lose respect in the classroom..or hear "thats not the way so-and-so does it"... I know I probably shouldnt be worried, but I am. I love this job and I love my students...I guess I just feel like I might be mentally replaced in their heads. We'll see what happens. I know it is a great thing for the kids to be able to experience different peoples teaching styles - that is how you grow to be the best at what you do - but at the same time I still fee like a foster mom to most of these kids..

I came home yesterday to a large hand drawn card, a box of ghiradelli chocolates and 7 jane austen novels from Z. I have such a great husband! We dont celebrate Valentines Day, and our anniversary is on the 21st, but he is leaving to Idaho on the 15th, so he got me an anniversary gift. Which is weird because we dont give eachother gifts. And he says he is not done...but wont tell me what the next thing is or when I will get it. All he will tell me is that it is something I already have and I am naked without. Great hints honey....

I cant beleive today is Thursday already! This week has flown by. I've felt marginally miserable all week, getting better as the week comes to a close. It has been a productive week - we had a great rehearsal on Tuesday and I've gotten a lot done at work.

I just looked at the time and I have to go to lunch now... see ya!

Been singing "Hallelujah" for 3 days straight. Stupid song...

Feeling better today, never did get fully "sick"...this weekend was absolutly gorgeous!!! Plus, I only had to work for 1hour on Saturday :)

Z went snowmobiling with some friends on Sat. so Peepers and I took off shopping on a "Mama Date". Was so nice to have some May-ish weather. Z tore his face up snowmobiling - shattered the windshield and his visor came up...he was sooooo lucky he didnt die - according to him it could have been alot worse. He looked like Charles Manson when he came home.

Sunday we cleaned and vegged. Didnt go to church - Z's face was swollen up somethin awful and he hurt...so we enjoyed a clean house, good food and then the missionaries came over.

I wasnt ready for the weekend to end - never am. I am still a little run down, but doing better. Somehow I didnt look at the clock all afternoon and now it is 4pm!! YAY! Dont get me wrong, I enjoy my job, but no matter how much I like any job, going home is the BEST!

Otherwise nothing important happened...Z and Peepers are going to Idaho for 2 weeks :(  I dont know why I said that 2 weeks was ok. I am fairly positive I am going to die and he will forget me. (kidding :)  I hate being alone. The house gets so quiet and I miss Peepers alot and I miss Z alot. I usually end up losing a decent amount of weight when theyre gone too..for some reason I just dont see the need to cook decent meals when it is just me. Plus I will be at the gym and rehearsal. I try to stay out of the house as much as I can when theyre gone - keeps my mind off of things. I know he will have a great time and Peepers will have a blast with the grandparents. Plus 2 weeks I think will  be plenty for both of them - the last time we went for 2 weeks with all of us, by the 1.5 week mark we were sooooooooooo ready to get out of Idaho. I'll be fine. Im just a baby :)

Oh YUM! My co-worker just handed me a huge snickerdoodle cookie with creamcheese frosting. Ive eaten like crap today. I tried to have a chicken snack wrap from McD's this afternoon...first bite was a big ball of chicken fat. So I traded it in for a cheesestick and a handful of mini 3 musketeers. Breakfast wasnt much better. Im too tired to care today tho...maybe Z will have dinner ideas...

Okie - gotta wrap up work - see ya

sick...kind of...

I was soooo tired yesterday....but I thought maybe I didnt sleep well enough the night before...Today I woke up with my throat swollen together...I can swallow now, but I still dont sound much like a girl. I want to go soak in the tub.,

Although on a weird note - it has been a very very productive day - moreso than when I have felt normal..I dont get it. Right now, I am waiting for my boss to get out of Quickbooks so I can finish what I was doing. 90% of my job involves Quickbooks and only one person can be in it at a time. So frustrating. I could go organize something but I really dont feel like moving.

Z and Peepers are going to Idaho for 2 weeks this month. Boo. :(  I wanna go. It isnt as hard when I am the one leaving, but when they leave me it sucks. I dont like being with out them for more than a few hours. Its too quiet at home, too clean...I hardly eat because there is no one to cook for...I wish I could go. I have fun visiting. But Im glad they can go and have fun - it will be good for Peepers to spend some time with the grandparents and for Z to spend some time with his friends. I plan on working, going to the gym, going to rehearsal and sleeping. And I think there is a girls night scheduled with my bestie - which usually involves a movie we put on in the background and crocheting or some craft - because in reality we are really 70 year old ladies disguised as 26 and 29 year olds. :)

I havent seen her in what seems like forever. We both have been so busy lately the only way we've talked in 3 months has been facebook! Im not completely thrilled with having to be on teh FB time line, but whatev. Nothing I can do about it.

My bed sounds great right now. It sucks, my body feels like I could run a marathon, but from my shoulders up it feels like a small form of death.

A book and a bath are in order tonight.